HORIZON (ISSN 1042-8461, Publication no. 744-850) is published quarterly by the National Religious Vocation Conference, 5401 S. Cornell Avenue, Suite 207, Chicago, IL 60615-5698; (773) 363-5454 phone; (773) 363-5530 fax

nrvc@nrvc.net  www.nrvc.net

Executive Director
Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC

Editor

Carol Schuck Scheiber

Proofreaders
Sister Mary Ann Hamer, OSF, Virginia Piecuch

Editorial Advisory Board
Sister Mary Jane Hahner, CSFN; Joel Schorn; Sister Sheila Stevenson, RSM;
Father Anthony Vinson, OSB; Father Andrew Carl Wisdom, OP

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VOLUME 37, NUMBER 3

SUMMER 2012

CULTURAL AND FAMILY ROOTS AND VOCATION

Updates: News from the vocation world

Making multiculturalism work: one community’s experience
BY CAROL SCHUCK SCHEIBER

Inviting African American Catholics to religious life
BY SISTER JOSITA COLBERT, SNDDEN

Coping with parental resistance: explanations and possible solutions
BY BROTHER JOHN MARK FALKENHAIN, OSB

Confessions of a seminarian’s mother
BY LISA M. ANDERSON

Reconciliation within and among religious communities
BY SISTER MARGARET ELLETA GUIDER, OSF

Taking ourselves lightly: a place for humor and play in discernment
BY SISTER MICHELE VINCENT FISHER, CSFN

The 10 best practices for vocation ministry today

Book Notes: Populist history of religious life full of drama, pathos
BY SISTER PATRICIA KENNY, RSM

www.nrvc.net

HORIZON

HORIZON began as a vocation journal in 1975. Today, as a quarterly publication, it serves a readership of more than 2000 in the U.S. and other English-speaking countries.

HORIZON serves as a resource:

•  To assist vocation directors in their professional and personal growth as ministers;

•  To educate and engage educators, directors of retreat centers, formation personnel, community leadership, bishops, campus ministers, librarians, priests, religious, laity and anyone interested in vocations and their role in vocation ministry.

HORIZON has a threefold purpose:

•  To provide timely and contemporary articles relative to vocation ministry;

•  To provide an opportunity for the exchange of ideas on pertinent issues in the field of vocations;

•  To highlight some of the current resources available.

National Religious Vocation Conference

HORIZON is published by the National Religious Vocation Conference (NRVC). The NRVC is an organization of men and women committed to the fostering and discernment of vocations. It provides services for professional vocation directors and others who are interested and involved in vocation ministry. It proclaims the viability of religious life and serves as a prophetic, creative, life-giving force in today’s church.

To accomplish this, NRVC provides opportunities for professional growth and personal support of vocation ministers; facilitates regional, area and national meetings for its members; sponsors workshops, seminars, conferences and days of prayer; publishes materials related to vocations for a wide variety of audiences; engages in research, study and exchange on issues of current concern; publishes a quarterly professional journal, HORIZON; maintains a Web site; and cooperates with other national groups essential to the fostering of vocations. For further information, contact: NRVC, 5401 S. Cornell Ave., Suite 207, Chicago, IL 60615-5698. E-mail: nrvc@nrvc.net. Web: www.nrvc.net.

National Religious Vocation Conference Board for 2011-2012

Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Sister Deborah Borneman, SSCM

ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR

Sister Josita Colbert, SNDdeN

REGION 1

Father Kevin DePrinzio, OSA

REGION 3

Sister Michelle Vincent Fisher, CSFN

REGION 3

Sister Elsa Garcia, CDP

REGION 10

Mrs. Maryellen Glackin

REGION 3

Sister Marcia Hall, OSP

REGION 4

Sister Maria Iannuccillo, SSND

REGION 1

Father Anthony Vinson, OSB

REGION 7

Father Freddy Washington, CSSp

REGION 7

Father Vince Wirtner, CPPS

REGION 6

On the way to paradise

TROUBLE IN PARADISE—that could be a cynical title for this edition. Unless you live alone in a cave, you’ve experienced “trouble in paradise”: disappointment, conflict, confusion or a related emotion that is directly linked to the fact that you are connected to people you care about, and things among or between you are less than ideal. It’s a truism of every vocational state, be it single, married or consecrated life, that an ideal for that lifestyle exists in popular culture, and then there is life as it is actually lived day-to-day.

Although I am just an outsider looking in at religious life, it seems to me that all the same human foibles that can make crucibles of single, married or family life are also at play in any religious community. Multicultural communal life is a case in point. Bringing together diverse peoples who do not have a common language, culture or ethnicity adds another layer to the mix of communal living. Not only do members have to negotiate all the usual issues of personality, ecclesiology, generational differences, etc., but cultural differences and conflicts can also be present alongside the richness inherent in these differences. All of us who produce HORIZON hope that this edition’s articles about making multicultural life work and about inviting African Americans to consecrated life will help enhance a more diverse future for religious communities.

The parents and families of prospective new members also come with their own perspectives and differences. Our writers take a close, personal look at the sacrifices and joys experienced by parents of new and prospective members. The hope is that these insights can help religious communities to relate to parents in a life-giving way.

Finally, perhaps the capstone of these articles about cultural and family background and their impact on vocation ministry are the final two articles of this edition. Sister Margaret Elleta Guider, OSF takes a long, compassionate look at the need for reconciliation in religious life. From my lay perspective, I would argue that reconciliation has just as large a role in any vocational lifestyle, but Sister Margaret’s message about reconciliation within religious institutes is sure to ring true with many of our readers. No less so the truths in the article by Sister Michele Vincent Fisher, CSFN on the place for humor and play in discernment. No one is beyond the need for reconciliation, and very few people will not embrace good humor. Often, the best way to defuse the routine problems that come with bumping up against each other is to use humor.

So, while we can all expect there to be trouble in paradise, this edition brings a few tools for dealing with it. We hope these articles on cultural understanding, cross-cultural invitation, parent understanding, reconciliation, and humor help build stronger vocation ministers, stronger religious communities and a stronger church.

Finally, I am proud to note that HORIZON has again taken top honors at the awards competition of the Catholic Press Association. Kudos to everyone involved with the magazine, particularly our award winning writers, Sister Judith Schaefer, OP and Father Bryan Massingale. You’ll find all the details on page 5.

—Carol Schuck Scheiber, editor,

cscheiber@nrvc.net

News from the vocation world

NRVC awarded $650,000 grant

In June the National Religious Vocation Conference announced that the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation had awarded NRVC a $650,000 “capacity building” grant to strengthen and enhance the organizational systems, structures, management, communications and governance of NRVC.

One of the objectives supported by this grant is a feasibility study of the possible establishment of a national communications office for vocations, a development office for NRVC, and a national fund for educational debt relief for religious life candidates. Although the study will formally commence in September, NRVC is already doing some of the preliminary work with American City Bureau (ACB), the agency that will conduct this study. For more information on ACB, please consult its website at acb-inc.com. So that the management of financial accounts is within proper regulations, NRVC has also contracted Sassetti LLC to conduct an audit of all of finance and accounting procedures, an essential step for the grant reporting. NRVC will continue to keep NRVC members apprised of the status of this feasibility study.

“Keys to the Future” workshop draws praise from participants

A June 4-6 NRVC workshop in San Antonio entitled “Moving Forward in Hope: Keys to the Future” trained 85 participants in how to effectively use a process with their religious communities. The process is aimed at helping religious institutes to discuss issues such as community life, communal prayer, visibility, and the celebration of Eucharist. As HORIZON goes to press, several communities have already begun planning how they will engage members in using the process. The workshop and tools have been underwritten by a grant from the GHR Foundation.

Participants in the “Keys to the Future” workshop in San Antonio, TX listen to one of their table mates.

Convocation to feature facilitated Q/A with Archbishop Tobin

The National Religious Vocation Conference will host its 2012 Convocation in Plano, TX November 1-5. In recent weeks, NRVC added to its agenda a question-answer session with keynoter Archbishop Joseph Tobin, CSsR Secretary of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life. The session will be facilitated and will be closed to the news media. In addition, Archbishop Tobin will remain for the entire convocation in order to allow for both formal and informal interaction.

This year’s convocation theme will be “Vocation Ministers as Ambassadors for Christ: A Reconciling Presence.” The other keynote presenter will be Sister Kathryn J. Hermes, FSP, author and retreat director. Pre-convocation workshops will be held November 1, 2012, 9 a.m. -4:30 p.m. Online registration is available at nrvc.net for the convocation and these workshops:

RECOGNIZING SUBTLE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF PERSONALITY DISORDER, presenters Dr. Adeline Boye, PSy.D. and Sister Cindy Kaye, RSM.

THE VOCATION DIRECTOR’S MARKETING TOOLBOX, presenter Kim Cavallero, director of communications, American Province of the Society of the Holy Child Jesus.

VOCATION MINISTRY AND THE ISSUES OF CIVIL, CANON AND IMMIGRATION LAW, presenters: Father Daniel J. Ward, OSB of the Legal Resource Center for Religious and Anne Marie Gibbons of the Catholic Legal Immigration Network.

HORIZON and VISION win awards

NRVC publications VISION and HORIZON both earned awards from the Catholic Press Association in June. HORIZON received First Place for Best Review for “Book explores theology of vocation” by Sister Judith Schaefer, OP. It also received Second Place, Best Analysis Writing for “Transformative love, passion for justice belong in vocation ministry” by Father Bryan Massingale.

VISION received awards for General Excellence, Third Place, Religious Order magazines and First Place, Best Essay for “Blessed are we who comfort the mourners” by Matt Kuczora, CSC. “NRVC always strives for professional excellence. I am proud that the Catholic Press Association has again awarded this excellence in two of our hallmark publications, HORIZON and VISION,” said Brother Paul Bednarczyk, CSC, executive director of the National Religious Vocation Conference.

Women religious gathering in November to address key issues

The first gathering of women’s communities to address issues raised in the NRVC-CARA study of new members will take place in the Midwest region in November 2012. Two other later gatherings will take place in the West and in the East.

Participants show their colors at the International Eucharistic Congress held in Dublin in June.

These gatherings of representatives of women’s communities will be organized and facilitated to encourage constructive reflection about concerns that surfaced in the 2009 NRVC-CARA study of new membership.

Sisters Gloria Marie Jones, OP and Kieran Foley, FSE will serve as facilitators, with Sister Mary Johnson, SNDdeN as the keynote speaker. In addition Sisters Anne Walsh, ASCJ and Lorraine Reume, OP will be listeners at the three sessions and will write a final summary document.

International Eucharistic Congress draws enthusiastic pilgrims

Pilgrims of all ages from around the world attended the June 10-17 International Eucharistic Congress held in Dublin, Ireland. The event focused on themes associated with the Eucharist and Christian living. Andrew O’Connell, communications director for the Presentation Brothers in Dublin remarked: “The theme of the Congress was ‘communion with Christ and with one another,’ and for the thousands of pilgrims who attended the Congress this is what they have experienced. It was a week-long national retreat in which we also felt the encouraging solidarity of other believers from all over the world.” Photos and follow-up information are at iec2012.ie

National discernment festival in England

Vocation leaders in England and Wales welcomed hundreds of pilgrims to St. Mary’s College, Oscott in the Archdiocese of Birmingham, England, July 6-8. Leaders credit this annual out-reach program, and other new vocation programming, with an uptick in new membership. Learn more at invocation.org/uk

An international religious community shares what it has learned about building a vibrant communal life with sisters from diverse cultures.

Making multiculturalism work: one community’s experience

BY CAROL SCHUCK SCHEIBER

AS THE AMERICAN CATHOLIC CHURCH becomes increasingly multi-ethnic, religious communities are challenged to invite and incorporate people with varying cultural backgrounds. For a church that has traditionally been focused on the needs of European-descent members, that is quite a challenge. Within many Catholic circles, multiculturalism is a popular idea in concept, but just how does it work in the concrete give and take of daily life in religious communities? How does a religious community foster cohesion with ethnically and culturally diverse members—without forcing everyone to adapt to one dominant culture? How do communities resolve tensions when cultures clash? How do communities negotiate different expectations and practices in regard to decision-making, communicating, running meetings, organizing ministries, etc.?

Carol Schuck Scheiber is editor of HORIZON and Focus on Vocation Ministry and is content editor of VISION—all of which are published by the National Religious Vocation Conference. The author of numerous articles and essays, she is married and has three children.

One community that has been dealing with the concrete gifts and challenges of multicultural living for decades is the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, whose motherhouse is in Houston, TX. To explore the nuances of multiculturalism within religious life, HORIZON turned to this community to learn how it approaches the cultural patterns of its life together. The CCVIs, as they are also known, shared with HORIZON their background, the specific steps they have taken to encourage an “international, multicultural community,” and their personal struggles and rewards in living out this reality day-to-day. An underlying question for the community has been: How can members who belong to minority ethnic or cultural groups feel at home within their religious communities?

Gradual move to multi-ethnic community

The CCVIs were founded in Texas in 1866 by Bishop Claude Marie Dubuis, second bishop of Galveston, Texas, when he invited three French sisters to form a new congregation to care for the sick and poor of the region. Today the CCVIs have 170 members hailing from nine countries, and they serve in various locations within the U.S., Guatemala, El Salvador, Ireland and Kenya. Most members come from one of the countries in which the congregation serves; the racial/cultural background of members breaks down as follows (counting novices, annually professed and perpetually professed):

Prayer can be a unifying experience for religious communities. It brings people together in faith, and it also is an opportunity for cultural expression through music and language.

Irish / naturalized U.S.

51% (all figures are rounded)

U.S.-born citizen

16%

Kenyan citizens

12%

Salvadorian citizens

8%

Guatemalan

8%

Nigerian

2%

The membership also includes one woman born in Spain, two born in the Philippines and one from Vietnam—all naturalized U.S. citizens. As diverse as this portrait is, it doesn’t even account for the many cultural differences within groups from the same country. The African sisters come from eight different tribes; three of the Central American sisters are from indigenous tribes while the others are “Landina,” a mix of Spanish and indigenous heritage, and there is great regional diversity among the Irish and U.S. sisters.

Conscious choices for multiculturalism

The community’s cultural diversity has grown gradually, with a Guatemalan mission beginning in 1963; and foundations in Kenya and El Salvador in 1981 and 1983 respectively. A turning point, however, came in the early 1990s. At that time, the community began to consciously embrace its international, multicultural character. Going a step further, during congregational chapters in the 90s, the CCVIs began calling for efforts to integrate diverse cultures and philosophies, to appreciate different cultures and to promote positive communication internationally. In 1993, the congregation required that language study be a part of formation. The role of leadership in guiding the community toward this goal has been critical.

By 2010, the congregation had made multiculturalism one of its top priorities. “Chapter 2010 Directions” for the CCVIs begins with the following question and answer: “How will we meet the challenge of living our changing reality, in as much as we are a multicultural, international and multi-generational congregation? During the next four years we will nurture congregational unity as we joyfully cultivate our diversity.” The chapter document went on to list dozens of suggestions for realizing this goal of unified multiculturalism.

The congregation’s general secretary, Sister Rose Scanlan, CCVI, spelled out for HORIZON some specific actions the sisters have taken toward the goal of unified multiculturalism.

•  At congregational assemblies (every four years) speakers have addressed cultural concerns from the perspective of Latin Americans and Africans in particular.

•  Vocation and formation teams from Guatemala, Kenya and the U.S. meet every two years, together with the Congregation’s Leadership Team, to share their experiences, understandings and set future direction. Meeting locations rotate from country to country so that vocation and formation ministers are exposed to and learn from diverse local communities.

•  Sisters in annual vows spend a year in a culture other than their own, living in a local CCVI community and taking part in one of its ministries. During this experience, they also visit historical sites and spend time with older sisters.

•  Some members, particularly the Guatemalan indigenous sisters, wear native clothing.

•  Sisters in initial formation have a prayer partner who prays for them, and occasionally sends letters, cards or small gifts. Prayer partners are usually older sisters and sometimes are from different countries or cultures.

•  Written congregational materials are available in Spanish and English. Simultaneous translation is provided during congregational meetings.

•  Workshops, seminars and talks on cultural issues are made available and encouraged within the congregation.

•  The congregation’s internal newsletter carries articles related to cultural understanding, including features about members’ international experiences, advice for cross-cultural communication, features about feast days and religious customs in the home countries of members, and other related interests.

•  The community website in English and Spanish (sistersofcharity.org and lashermanasdelacaridad.org)also carries content that promotes cultural understanding. For instance the website features a short video about the congregation that contains multi-ethnic and multilingual content when describing the CCVIs.

•  Younger sisters from Africa, the U.S. and Central America took part in a “Prophetic Leadership Program”which was designed to prepare younger sisters from diverse backgrounds to assume different levels of leadership both in ministry and within the congregation. A second program is now being developed.

•  Congregational celebrations and liturgies that are both multicultural and multilingual have been intentionally developed.

•  The community has provided hospitality at the motherhouse to culturally diverse sisters from other congregations who are in the area for studies. The visitors share prayer, meals and living space with the CCVIs.

•  In recognition of the importance of cross-cultural transitions, the congregation produced a booklet of rituals for the transition process for internal use.

•  The CCVI community in Kenya consciously promotes religious vocations from among Catholic women of different tribes. This leads to local religious communities that live inter-culturally while witnessing to the values of cultural diversity. Also, in 2007, the Kenyan sisters provided hospitality to people displaced by post-election ethnic violence.

Sister Betty Campos Arias of El Salvador visits with Sister Mary Nora Dwan at Villa de Matel motherhouse in Houston. They are looking at each other’s congregational emblems.

It’s important to note that none of the initiatives listed here is the centerpiece or the final answer to creating a unified, multi-ethnic congregation. The sisters recognize that the effort to create unity within diversity is an ongoing process. “CCVI culture continues to evolve as sisters die and as new women enter,” notes Sister Rose. “The concept of internationality has been in our documents now for over two decades; however living out the implications of being international and multicultural continues to deepen. It is a journey, and we are on the road.”

What members say about multiculturalism

The CCVI leaders helped HORIZON to correspond with more than a dozen members, all of whom reflected on questions about how their charism encourages multicultural living, how living cross-culturally has affected them, and what advice about multiculturalism they would give to others.

It’s interesting to note that even the way the community’s leaders chose 11 sisters for correspondence reflected a commitment to multiculturalism. The leaders made sure to include sisters from almost all the countries represented by the membership, going so far as to translate questions and answers.

Many common themes emerged from the four questions that HORIZON put to CCVI members (see the box below).

Relating charism to multiculturalism

In response to the first question about charism, each CCVI member wrote articulately about how the CCVI charism, history and traditions lend themselves to a multicultural form of living. Members emphasized their charism’s focus on becoming “a Gospel of love,” as well as its focus on hospitality and incarnational spirituality. One sister wrote:

The most important charism of the CCVI when it comes to multicultural living is incarnational spirituality. This is the ability to recognize Christ in our sisters and treat each sister the way Christ would have done 2000 years ago. Incarnational spirituality is imbedded in charity, hospitality, and joyful service. And because our sisters have naturally and joyfully demonstrated love without limit in their various communities, it has contributed to our living positive multicultural life.

Another sister wrote: “The spirit of our congregation: charity, dependence, simplicity, hospitality, and joyful service have helped [us] to recognize the dignity of each person irrespective of culture.”

To step back a moment from the CCVI congregation, it is not hard to imagine that most religious communities could easily find elements of their charism that support a multicultural lifestyle. The entire Catholic-Christian tradition, with its emphasis on human dignity and its notion that Christ-died-for-all-people underscores a respect for those who are different and embraces a sense that the Gospel (and thereby religious life) is for all types of people, unto the ends of the earth. If a congregation’s charism puts great stock in Mary, for example, why not emphasize Mary as the mother of all peoples? Artistically, Mary has been portrayed in every ethnic garb, and every country inhabited by Christians seems to have its own iconic Virgin: Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexico, the Black Madonna of Czestochowa in Poland, Our Lady of Charity in Cuba, etc. Thus, a Marian emphasis in a religious community could easily be seen undergirding multiculturalism.

The same could be said for a charism emphasizing the Eucharist (we are unified by the Body of Christ), for a charism emphasizing healing (the community exists to heal the divisions caused by ethnic/cultural clashes); for a charism stressing evangelization (to really spread the Good News, one must understand the culture to which one brings the Gospel), and so on.

Thus a starting point for any community that wants to get serious about opening up to members from different cultures and ethnicities could be to have its writers, scholars and theologians reflect on its charism and how that charism is linked to multiculturalism. For the CCVIs, this reflection was not simply published once in a newsletter or book, but rather it is consciously promoted throughout the community in initial and ongoing formation programs.

Questions about multiculturalism in religious life

Following are the questions HORIZON posed to 11 CCVI members.

1 What aspects of your community charism are helpful when it comes to multicultural living?

2 At a personal level, how has living cross-culturally affected your self-understanding (in particular, your sense of self as a CCVI sister)?

3 For you personally, what have been the most challenging aspects of living in a multicultural community?

4 Do you have any words of wisdom for religious communities that are not currently multicultural but are trying to shift toward multicultural communal life?

Challenges of multicultural living

Members wrote poignantly about their experiences in international or multi-ethnic living. Clearly, there is an edge to this kind of life: members cannot take for granted (or see as normative) their own personal way of seeing and interacting with the world. This experience of being outside their comfort zone stretched and broadened them, the sisters said repeatedly.

The foremost challenge is probably language barriers for those functioning in a non-native language. Lack of fluency, wrote one sister, “induces a sense of helplessness and frustration, and this obstacle must be overcome if we are to be truly intercultural.”

A sister whose first language is Vietnamese and who now lives in a CCVI community in Houston wrote this:

The language barrier was the greatest challenge for me when I entered my Congregation. I was the first Vietnamese woman to enter the congregation since it was founded in 1866. I am so grateful to those who were patient with me, listened to me, and paid attention to my language limitations. Their compassion, and patience helped to empower me. I have seen God’s Incarnate love expressed to me through their eyes, words and hearts. On the other hand, my poor English was a challenge to those who were not so patient. Their reaction pushed my ego to work harder and gave me motivation to learn the English language faster. I truly appreciate their challenge. God’s grace was awesome and was a creative force when I was faced with these difficulties.

Another major challenge for cross-cultural living is learning to deal with cultures that are comparatively direct or indirect. Non-Western cultures sometimes see Europeans and Americans as rudely, bluntly direct in interpersonal relations. On the other hand, Westerners can sometimes be driven to distraction at having to guess at indirect forms of communication. Take this comment from a Western sister:

The challenges have been trying to understand the different cultures. What I may understand as clear communication may not be what another culture understands. Each culture has different values, and it has been necessary to try to understand the indirect communication. But there are times that one has to accept that everything is not clear….

Another sister wrote:

During her profession of perpetual vows, Sister Ricca Dimalibot of the Philippines receives her ring from Sister Lillian Anne Healy, congregational leader. Sister Elizabeth Ann Hayes, formation director (at that time), is to the right.

Those who grew up in more communal cultures where efficiency and punctuality are not necessarily revered (Africa or Central America, for example) can struggle with the individualism and cold efficiency of their Western-born sisters.

An African sister wrote:

My understanding of ceremonies has been challenged, too. My previous understanding was that any ceremony was for everybody, and it has to take hours. Living in a multicultural community, I have come to realize that one has to be invited and the ceremony doesn’t have to take hours.

For Westerners, learning to live with “the other” may mean accepting that things will be different, perhaps slower and more inefficient. It’s the inverse for non-Westerners: they might have to put up with a sense of rush and a reverence for efficiency when living in Western cultures. Here is what one sister wrote about the need to take time to unravel what someone from another culture might be saying:

It can be frustrating at times when I am unsure if I have been understood or if the response I get is what it seems to be. Is a “Yes” really a Yes or is it a No, or a Yes with reservation? With this uncertainty, I am called to be patient as I grow in the awareness that understanding sometimes will unfold slowly. I am challenged to respectfully ask the right questions when I feel that the response may be at the surface level and to remind myself to encourage the other to ask questions in like circumstances. It works both ways. Negotiating across differences may take a little time but it leads to more compassionate understanding.

Another sister pointed out that the effort to understand and accept differences needs to be a two-way street within religious communities. Members from the dominant culture and members from the minority culture both need to make an effort, and that effort can be costly.

Such effort takes work, and it can be painful. It goes beyond a noble notion of “multiculturalism,” and it involves much more than people of different ethnic backgrounds living at the same address. One is likely to discover many misunderstandings, misperceptions and even prejudices along the way to becoming authentically multicultural. It is something that has to be worked at as individuals and as a community. It requires conscious effort. It can’t just be one side trying to understand the other, but, rather, all parties must strive for understanding and be willing to adapt.

Qualities needed and gifts bestowed

This sense that multicultural living requires a certain amount of “putting up with” and “adjusting to” in some ways is an extension of and an intensification of the same give and take that makes communal life itself work—whether or not it’s multicultural. Indeed, the CCVI sisters’ reflections on multiculturalism reflected a truth often spoken about by culture experts. To put aside one’s own cultural norms and accept another cultural norm requires a certain humility and openness to change, and those two words: openness and humility, were repeated by several respondents. Others named additional qualities that enhance multicultural living: patience, ability to live with ambiguity, ability to suspend judgement, sensitivity, empathy, and love.

The respondents repeatedly said that the cultivation of these qualities in their lives has been a tremendous gift. The experience of multicultural living has also broadened them and enriched them they said over and over. Multicultural living makes life more interesting, they also reported. “I have learned to speak up in a more collaborative way,” reported a Filipina sister about living in a multicultural U.S. community. She went on to say: “There is always something to be learned and a lesson to be mined for meaning. I think the more I become more accepting of other cultures, the more I give myself permission to be myself.”

Taking a moment together are CCVI sisters Pauline Troncale, Kim-Phuong Tran, Rachel O’Keeffe, Ruth N. Tigüilá Robles and Joyce Susan Njeri Mbataru.

An African sister reported:

Living in a multicultural community is a precious gift. I have been enriched more than I could even imagine. Sharing our different cultures has broadened my understanding of my own culture as well as other cultures. I have been helped to grow more in different areas and to discover more gifts that I didn’t know that I have.

The final question HORIZON posed to CCVI sisters asked what advice they might give to communities that would like to work toward unified multicultural living. They shared some of what they’ve learned during their decades-old experiment in bringing together diverse members. Some of their advice was very particular to the dynamics of cross-cultural living. They advised others to:

•  Check things out in case of misunderstanding.

•  If there are some different values that might clash, lovingly let them go. Don’t hold too much to them.

•  Share similarities as well as differences of culture.

•  Respect each culture because it is a gift from God.

Leadership commitment

The CCVI sisters who contributed to this article shared their ideas about what is needed for healthy, multicultural living. For true multiculturalism—unified by the charism—to take hold, leaders need to make conscious choices for multiculturalism. Leaders need to communicate diversity as a goal—not as a “flavor of the week” sort of goal, but a goal that is soundly rooted in the charism of the community. Leaders will need to shape initial and ongoing formation accordingly. Leaders will need to be chief cheerleaders and promoters to take steps toward the goal over time so that eventually the necessary cultural shifts will take place.

It is a process

There probably will never be a point at which the community arrives in the promised land of unified multiculturalism. The effort to stay aware, to learn about other peoples and other ways of life is ongoing.

Change takes time

Changing the corporate culture of a religious community is an incremental process. If a community is beginning with very little diversity—be it race, age, culture, ecclesiology, etc.—it will not be transformed quickly to an intergenerational, multicultural community. As one CCVI member noted, not all members of a religious community will have the capacity or the desire to be stretched.

Resources are available

Several organizations within the church promote multicultural, interracial understanding. Communities need not strike out on their own. The CCVI community has availed itself of many speakers, books, programs and workshops over the years. Communities that want to develop their cultural awareness and sensitivity to enhance their communal life and to enhance their ministry skills have plenty of guidance available; they only need to begin looking and networking. HORIZON has published several lists of resources, which can be found in the archives. (Subscribers can go to nrvc.net and download the “Subject index for HORIZON” to find relevant articles.)

That said, experts and resources cannot replace membership’s willingness to go down the path of multiculturalism. As one CCVI sister put it: “Theorists and experts can help, but it mostly takes all parties concerned sitting down and sharing, wanting to become multicultural and being together in it.”

Change can be painful

As enriching as it is, multicultural living can be exasperating at times. It can be painful to recognize prejudices and stereotypes. Cultures based on differing priorities and values can clash, and feelings can be hurt in the resulting conflicts. That makes the efforts to promote communal prayer, unity and common ground very important. One sister pointed out the importance of cultivating love to cope with these difficulties:, “The love within the human heart can transcend our superficial differences.”

It is worth it?

In one form or another all the CCVI sisters said that multicultural life is worth the costs. One even made a link to vocations, saying that religious “will not know the mission of Jesus in its fullness until we include every nation and culture. His departing gift was to go to teach all nations. Could the problem of vocations to the religious life be that we have not sufficiently opened up to where vocations might come from?”

Another respondent emphasized the enjoyment of variety: “Just imagine what life could be if all people think alike, communicate the same language, and value the same things, whether good or evil. Life will be boring. I think variety is the spice of life. A flower garden with only one type of flower would look gloomy, but when there are multiple colors, we address the garden as colorful. The same can be applied to multicultural communal life.” One CCVI sister noted that the effort to be a multicultural community has value above and beyond the congregation itself. In fact, at its best, multiculturalism sends an important message of hope to the world:

I believe firmly that [striving for a multicultural community] gives convincing and prophetic witness of the Gospel and its values. It is a strong challenge as well as a countercultural experience, especially when day after day we hear about all the hate and division in the world that is attributed to cultural, ethnic and religious differences.

Most religious communities in this country have European ethnic roots, but the dream of religious life is far beyond any single race or culture. Experts share their ideas on reaching out to African American Catholics.

Inviting African American Catholics to religious life

BY SISTER JOSITA COLBERT, SNDDEN

For religious congregations that are predominately European-American to extend a sincere invitation to people of color to join in furthering the mission of their communities, it will be necessary to engage in a process of designing an intentional plan to address inherent weaknesses in the current approaches to the ministry of invitation to new members.

—Sister Gwynette Proctor, SNDdeN

In preparing this article, I found the above comment by Sister Gwynette Proctor, SNDdeN a natural place to begin. Our efforts as vocation ministers to invite and welcome all racial and ethnic groups requires a conscious effort. It is unlikely to just happen because we are people of goodwill. The cultural patterns and habits that exist in the United States have emerged from a long legacy of slavery, Jim Crow laws, segregation and discrimination. It is hard to escape the racism, both subtle and blatant, that is part of our larger culture and church; however we can choose to become more aware. We can choose to open our communities up to the whole church; we can choose to make the extra effort it may take to seek out, invite and welcome our African American brothers and sisters. Our communities and our church will be the richer for it if we do.

Sister Josita Colbert, SNDdeN is a member of the USA national vocation team for her congregation, the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur and has been involved in vocation ministry for almost two decades. She is a member of the national Black Sisters Conference and a member of the Board of the National Religious Vocation Conference. Prior to full time vocation ministry she served in the field of education as a primary and secondary teacher and administrator.

Facilitators show their spirit at the African American Catholic Youth Congress of 2011 in Lafayette, LA. (Photo by Joseph Walker.)

Many religious communities are comfortable with serving African Americans, but to authentically follow Christ, we must invite that same population to become part of us, to minister alongside us. This was one of several messages Father Bryan Massingale, a renowned social ethicist, shared in a presentation at the 2010 convocation of the National Religious Vocation Conference. He told his listeners: “Our faith calls us and empowers us to be the compassion of the Risen Christ.” He added: “If candidates for religious life are unwilling or unable to relate to people of color and socially stigmatized groups as equals and not just paternalistic benefactors—this is an indisputable sign that they do not have a vocation to serve the church as it exists today.”

Members of the National Black Catholic Seminarian Association gather. The group serves as a touchstone for black men who are preparing for the priesthood.

To prepare this article I found myself re-reading and thinking of workshops and articles by various African-American presenters. I found their recommendations and tips in concert with my own views about what it will take to bring about greater diversity in congregations where the majority of members, leaders, and vocation and formation personnel are, in fact, of European heritage. I had the opportunity recently to converse with Sister Gwynette Proctor, SNDdeN about her booklet, Toward Cultural Competence and Incorporation of People of Color into Predominately European-American Religious Communities (2000, published by the National Religious Vocation Conference). She stressed that the need for conscious efforts continues to exist today, as it did some 10 years ago when the booklet was published. Congregations must reverence diversity and recognize, as well, the Afro-centric approach, she told me. They must explore and accept that there is an African-American culture with its own practices and its own values.

Where to begin a conscious effort to build greater diversity? We would all agree that the call to religious life comes from God. Religious congregations must be intentionally conscious that the call for African-American candidates emerges out of their particular experience within the black community. This call emerges in spite of the many obstacles that still exist. Sister Proctor listed some of those obstacles: the withdrawal of the Catholic Church from black urban areas; the reluctance of white brothers, priests and sisters to invite African-American people to Catholicism and to religious life; and the growing deterioration of education in the urban public and parochial schools.

These are significant hurdles, but the call to religious life continues to go out to African Americans, and vocation ministers can do a great deal to help the call be heard and to support those who respond. The following tips are drawn, with permission, from Sister Proctor’s booklet, Towards Cultural Competence and the Incorporation of People of Color into Predominately European-American Religious Communities. She graciously gave her permission for me to adapt and reprint excerpts from her work.

Tips for vocation and formation personnel

•  Attend courses and workshops at the Institute for Black Catholic Studies. (See the organization listed on page 15.)

•  Worship in the African-American parishes.

•  Enroll in courses or workshops led by African-Americans.

•  Acquire knowledge and experience in the African-American community.

•  Contact the National Black Sisters Conference (NBSC), The National Black Catholic Clergy Caucus (NBCCC), or the National Black Catholic Congress (listed at the end of this article) to assist your congregation in inviting and, more importantly, in nurturing African-American candidates in ways suggested here.

Tips for vocation promotion

•  Publish print and online materials using graphics that include African Americans depicted as equals, not just as people being served.

•  Publicize congregational activities in outlets that reach African Americans: in community newspapers, African-American newspapers, in the bulletins of African-American parishes.

•  Sponsor vocation awareness days in historically black colleges and universities.

•  Take out ads in promotional booklets for events within the African American community.

•  Contact the diocesan Office of Black Catholics—meet the staff; enlist help from the staff in spreading the word.

For nurturing that vocation

African Americans who are considering or who have joined a religious order that is mostly of European heritage can use support in dealing with the cultural and racial concerns they’ll encounter. Here are ways to help provide that support.

INITIATES, CANDIDATES, DISCERNERS

For persons formally contemplating entrance and in structured contact with the congregation:

•  Arrange for a mentor from the NBSC or NBCCC.

•  Arrange for the candidate’s assessment to be done by an African-American psychologist or psychiatrist.

•  Arrange periodic interactions with black religious (correspondence, visits, personal conversations, retreat/prayer experiences).

•  Arrange participation in ministry experiences with African American religious.

For affiliates and postulants (those persons who have formally entered at the prenovitiate level):

•  Provide regular interaction with black religious, even if they are from different congregations. The emphasis here should be on reflection and discussion, but you may want to arrange opportunities for shared ministry or prayer, such as working in places where black religious are employed or attending retreat or prayer experiences within the African American Catholic community.

NOVITIATE

•  The canonical year is still accepted as a year apart, yet it should not be a year of isolation. The canonical year should set a model for living, not stand as an antithesis to it.

•  Involve African Americans directly in the formation program throughout this entire period. Their presence allows the novice to stay connected to his or her own culture while adapting to religious life.

What has worked well with candidates?

Pre-entrance experiences with the community, such as:

•  living in a community for a short time,

•  attending community gatherings,

•  having assigned contact persons from a local house or community, and

•  spending time with other religious congregations that are comfortable interacting with African Americans.

Once a candidate has entered, support systems can be helpful. These might include steps such as encouraging the candidate to maintain ties to the black community, utilizing NBSC or NBCCC members as resources, or living in parishes with other black Catholics. Other support systems might be found by:

•  ministering among African Americans;

•  sharing his or her culture with the religious community, such as helping to develop within the religious community an attitude of openness to learn about other cultures and welcoming in the religious community different styles of cooking, relaxing, celebrating;

•  incorporating into the religious community faith experiences rooted in African American culture, including liturgies, retreats, spirituality, prayer groups;

•  visiting with the candidates’ family as appropriate;

•  being sensitive to the family and extended family and friends; and

•  initiating honest dialogue about community members’ attitudes, biases, prejudices and fears.

Organizations

The National Black Catholic Congress (NBCC)

320 Cathedral St., Baltimore, MD 21201

nbcc@nbccongress.org, http://www.nbccongress.org/

National Black Catholic Clergy Caucus (NBCCC)

www.nbccc.us

National Black Sisters Conference (NBSC)

1200 Varnum St. NE

Washington, DC 20017

nbsc68@verizon.net

www.nbsc68.com/

(202) 529-9250

Institute for Black Catholic Studies

Xavier University of Louisiana

1 Drexel Dr. / Box 49

New Orleans, LA 70125

IBCS@xula.edu

www.xula.edu/ibcs/

(504) 520-7691

Ladies & Knights of St. Peter Claver

825 Orleans Avenue

New Orleans, LA 70116-2825

info@kofpc.org

www.kofpc.org/

(504) 821-4225

Reflection questions for individuals

1) What are my prejudices, biases, values, criterion for women and men of color? What do I need to change within to truly welcome a person of color?

2) What attitudes and behaviors must I change in order to deal with my unconscious racism? To become more aware of this persistent reality, it may help to read books such as Silent Racism: How Well-meaning White People Perpetuate the Racial Divide, by Barbara Trepagnier or Understanding White Privilege: Creating Pathways to Authentic Relationships Across Race, by Frances E. Kendall.

3) What middle class values impede me in welcoming a person of color?

4) Can I name any racist attitudes and language that are present in me?

5) How do I appreciate, encourage, affirm and support the cultural gifts that the Asian, Native American, Latino, African American woman or man brings to our community?

How do I allow and enable Latinos, Asians, African Americans, and Native Americans to continue to live their culture?

6) How am I open to others’ cultural or ethnic forms of prayer, ritual and liturgy?

7) What expectations do I have that the African American candidate will “fit-in” and adapt to the dominant culture of our community?

8) How would I consider adapting my lifestyle to meet the cultural expression or language needs of an African American man or woman?

9) How do I see the charism of the Institute/religious community lived out in a culture other than my own? How would I envision that charism being lived out by an African American woman or man?

10) Do the province policies, formation plan, and structures include people of color?

Wynard Boutte (center) presents awards to Christopher Jeanlouis (left) and Kaylon Benjamin (right). The two layed leadership roles in the African American Catholic Youth Congress 2011 in Lafayette, LA. (Photo by Joseph Walker.)

Recommendations for individuals

•  Read works by African American authors.

•  Pray daily for vocations among women and men of color.

•  Take a course on multicultural studies or study one or two specific ethnic groups.

•  Learn about your own culture and its unique gifts.

Become aware of racist language and expressions and erase them from your speech.

Reflection questions for local communities

1) What does it mean to be a multicultural community? To be pluralistic?

2) What would our congregation look like if we were a multicultural community? (Prayer styles, food, recreation, dress, theology, liturgy, spirituality, etc.)

3) What kinds of reading and visual artifacts exist in our residences that are not from a Eurocentric perspective?

4) What opportunities are available for the African American man or woman to share his or her story and culture with the community?

5) How is our congregation involved in ministry in the African American community?

6) In what type of ethnic neighborhood is our community located? What is our witness to people of other cultures by living here?

7) In what ways will our community welcome the family of our African American community members?

8) What needs to change in our religious community to make it more welcoming to an African American woman or man?

9) What do we, as a congregation, think about our province’s formation policies and programs regarding women or men of color? Do they support the unique gifts of people of color, or do they attempt to “bleach” them to be more like the dominant culture?

10) Are we as a congregation willing to allow the African American members to have the necessary support systems to grow and flourish, even if that means going outside of the community?

11) How and to what extent are we willing to prepare ourselves to accept African American women or men to form community, to serve, to proclaim the Gospel?

12) How does our congregation encourage and support African American members to develop their own spirituality in the light of the charism of the congregation and their charism as a person of color?

13) Do we really want African Americans among us as community members?

Recommendations for local communities

•  Invite African Americans to celebrations and to be resource people.

•  Experience the African American woman or man’s way of praying, relaxing, cooking, conducting meetings.

•  Contact local African American religious men and women for guidance in learning how to become a welcoming community for an African American candidate.

•  Provide opportunities for cross-cultural spiritual and educational celebrations and experiences.

•  Examine the values of the dominant culture and the African American culture. Based on the values of the Gospel, discuss which values are negotiable and which are not.

•  Celebrate major holidays of one or more ethnic groups.

Reflection questions for provinces, regions

It has been said that “Appreciation of one’s own culture can open up possibilities for acceptance of another’s culture.” How can provinces or regions begin to foster a process whereby this can begin? (One possible resource is the Cultural Audit, available in limited quantity from the National Religious Vocation Conference, 773-363-5454 or nrvc@nrvc.net.) How does our religious community witness the faith among African American people?

Recommendations for provinces or regions

•  The province formation plans can state clearly a value for diverse approaches to the formation plan that would serve to meet the specific cultural and ethnic needs of the candidate.

•  Formation and vocation personnel can engage in a process of training for cross-cultural ministry such as course-work or workshops at Xavier University’s Institute for Black Catholics or seminars conducted by African Americans.

•  African American women and men can be actively engaged as planners, facilitators, resource persons and consultants at province level assemblies and projects.

•  Provinces can implement a policy to establish business relationships with and purchase goods and services from African American entrepreneurs.

Reflection questions for congregations

1) What is the definition of “cross-cultural” in our congregation as it currently exists in the United States?

2) Is there a genuine interest and commitment to engage in cross-cultural sharing and discussion in our religious congregation?

3) How can a discussion be advanced about how our congregation can begin to include members from diverse cultural and ethnic groups?

4) What national forum can be created to focus efforts on changing the ethnic and racial face of religious communities in the U.S.?

Recommendations for congregations

•  Formation and vocation personnel can engage in a process of training for cross-cultural ministry. This could involve taking courses or workshops at Xavier University’s Institute for Black Catholics or at other institutes or seminars conducted by African Americans.

•  African American women and men in religious communities can be encouraged to gather and create networks to support one another for life in mission. Further, it is recommended that on-going financial, emotional and psychological support be directed toward this effort.

•  Province formation and vocation personnel can devise a national plan to utilize support networks such as National Black Sisters Conference (NBSC), National Black Catholic Clergy Caucus (NBCCC), Ladies & Knights of St. Peter Claver (kofpc.org/), diocesan Offices of African American/ Black Catholics.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

In general religious congregations need to begin serious reflection on the ways that unconscious racism causes barriers that result in the absence of earnest invitations and a lack of earnest responses from men and women who are African American.

In his 2010 address to the National Religious Vocation Conference Father Bryan Massingale spoke on the implications of transformative love and passion for justice for vocation ministers. He said: “I believe that women and men religious are called to be agents of social reconciliation, healing a divided church and world. To do that, religious need a cultivated stance of unease… a transformative love that Christian tradition calls ‘compassion’ and that Catholic social teaching calls ‘solidarity.’” If this vision is true, he said, the implications include: relating equally to and with people of color, tackling the issue of unconscious racism personally and corporately, and realizing that this change must begin with compassion and solidarity.

In the quickening Spirit of our Good God, we as vocation ministers must be about recognizing, reverencing and nurturing God’s call of African-American women and men to religious life as brother, sister and priest. Father Bryan Massingale told us,” Our task as vocation ministers is to seek and call forth women and men who radiate the hope of a world made new.”

Resources

Uncommon Faithfulness: The Black Catholic Experience, by M. Shawn Copeland, 2009.

Racial Justice and The Catholic Church, by Father Bryan Massingale, 2010.

To Stand On The Rock, by Father Joseph Brown, SJ 1998.

“Transformative love, passion for justice belong in vocation ministry,” by Father Bryan Massingale, HORIZON, Winter, 2011, pp. 30-38.

Toward Cultural Competence and Incorporation of People of Color into Predominantly European-American Religious Communities, Booklet compiled by Sister Gwynette Proctor, SNDdeN, 2000. (Write to nrvc@nrvc.net to purchase.)

Interrupting White Privilege: Catholic Theologians Break the Silence, by Laurie M. Cassidy and Alexander Mikulich, 2007.

That They May Be One: Catholic Social Teaching on Racism, Tribalism and Xenophobia, by Sister Dawn M. Nothwehr, OSF, 2008.

“Making the Most of Diversity,”HORIZON theme edition, Spring 2004. (HORIZON subscribers can download from the archives at www.nrvc.net).

Racial Sobriety. A process for organizations to promote racial healing and understanding. Developed by Father Clarence Williams, CPPS, www.racialsobriety.org.

History of Black Catholics in the United States, by Father Cyprian Davis, OSB Crossroads New York, 1990.

Parent opposition to children or siblings who enter the novitiate or seminary has always existed, and it usually resolves over time. A vocation minister takes a look at this pattern and proposes responses.

Coping with parental resistance: explanations and possible solutions

BY BROTHER JOHN MARK FALKENHAIN, OSB

ONE SATURDAY EVENING, a few of us monks were looking for a movie to watch after compline. Since it was the feast of St. Bernadette of Lourdes, Brother Zachary suggested the 1943 black-and-white classic, Song of Bernadette. I had never seen it, nor had many of the mostly younger monks who occupied the TV room to watch the truly inspiring, if somewhat sentimental, account of St. Bernadette Soubirous—the 19th century adolescent who, in the face of mounting opposition from nearly everyone around her, pursues a mysterious call to relationship with the Blessed Mother and ultimately God.

As drawn as I was to the beautiful character of Bernadette, I found myself equally riveted by the plight of Bernadette’s mother, who struggles to relate to her beloved daughter who is drawn into something that she (Bernadette’s mother) doesn’t understand. Her struggle manifests itself in a panoply of emotional reactions including concern, frustration, embarrassment, disapproval and even a desire to temporarily disown her daughter, as she attempts to send Bernadette off to live with an aunt, hoping she might pass though this phase and stop bringing shame on the family. It struck me as I watched the film, that the vocation stories of many of our younger monks are actually quite similar to that of Bernadette: a call to a deeper relationship with God which parents struggle to understand and often respond to with discouragement if not outright disapproval. After several years working as a vocation director and a psychologist conducting evaluations to screen candidates for seminary and religious communities, the issue of negotiating negative parental reactions to the decision to pursue religious life or priesthood impresses me as not only common, but often quite important in the discernment and initial formation of many young men and women considering a call to religious life.

Brother John Mark Falkenhain, OSB is the vocation director and assistant formation director at St. Meinrad Archabbey in southern Indiana. A clinical psychologist, he teaches in the Saint Meinrad Seminary and School of Theology and conducts research and writes in the areas of human development, celibacy and sexuality, and formation for religious life and priesthood.

Many reasons behind opposition

If there was a time when parents almost uniformly experienced great honor at having a child become a priest, sister or religious brother, it is probably in the past. Still, I suspect that even some of the older members of our communities met with resistance from their parents when they decided to join religious life. Today negative reactions from parents and family take many forms, including questioning the child’s decision, expressing outright disapproval, and even offering to pay for the trappings of an alternate choice. I have heard, for example, of parents who offer to buy their child a new car or pay for graduate school tuition if the child would change his or her mind. In even more extreme cases, I have known of breaks in communication between a parent and child as a result of her expressed desire to pursue religious life.

Many factors contribute to such resistance from parents, and these factors can act together in different combinations. Some parents are suspicious of priests and religious following the child sexual abuse scandal. Others have had negative or limited experiences of priests and religious growing up themselves. Outdated or stereotyped impressions of religious based on Hollywood depictions are typically not helpful to a parent’s understanding of the religious life the child hopes to pursue (we find this particularly true in monasteries), and the prospect of not having grandchildren or having the family name discontinue can also make it difficult for parents to support their child’s choice to enter a religious community. Some parents distrust celibacy as “unnatural” or “unhealthy,” and in situations where the candidate is a more recent convert to Catholicism, parents may still be feeling resentment over their child’s migration away from the family’s faith tradition. In these situations, the decision to join a religious community feels like insult added to injury.

Even if a son or daughter has grown up in a Catholic family with accurate impressions and supportive attitudes regarding religious life, a child’s decision to pursue a vocation may still elicit a reaction of grief.

Even if none of these factors are at play—even if a son or daughter has grown up in a Catholic family with accurate impressions and supportive attitudes regarding religious life, a child’s decision to pursue a vocation may still elicit a reaction of grief from parents. I say “grief” because, whether the choice is a religious vocation or the decision to follow a different career, move to another part of the country, or marry someone the family doesn’t know, parents often experience a sense of loss when their child makes a choice that diverges from the path they (the parents) had in mind for their son or daughter. Adding to this grief is the likely reality that parents simply don’t—and perhaps can’t—understand what their son or daughter is experiencing when they say they “feel called” to be a sister or a monk, a brother or a priest. At the very core of this grief is the discovery of a part of their son or daughter that they didn’t know, don’t understand—are unfamiliar with. “I thought I knew her,” a mother thinks to herself. “Who is this son of mine who wants to be a monk?” a father wonders. It’s difficult enough to watch your child grow up and out of the house, but there is a true sense of loss when the child whom you thought you knew well reveals a dimension of herself that you not only don’t know, but can’t quite understand.

Parental resistance, window to maturity

Given the frequency of parental resistance, we ought to expect it and perhaps even anticipate it when talking with men and women who are interested in our communities. Rather than seeing opposition as a potential threat to a young man or woman’s vocation, I suggest that vocation directors approach this fairly normal crisis as an opportunity for growth and a chance to explore both the maturity of the candidate and the freedom with which she or he is choosing to join the community. Let me explain.

One of the significant developmental tasks of late adolescence and early adulthood is separation and individuation from one’s parents and family of origin. Few sons and daughters follow exactly the same path, make every one of the same choices, and associate with exclusively the same people that their parents have steered them toward throughout their childhood. The turbulence we typically associate with adolescent “rebellion” comes about when a teen begins to question the values of his family of origin and the choices his parents have been making for him throughout his childhood. As part of this natural preparation for adulthood, teens include among their circle of influential people, peers and sometimes other adults (teachers, role models of their own choosing) who assist them in building a new, adult identity—one which is typically related to, but no longer entirely dependent on her family of origin. This “individuated” young adult becomes increasingly responsible for his own decisions and works to pursue and defend them with growing confidence. While this transition is challenging and risky for the emerging adult, it is also plenty challenging for the parents who have to make the adjustment from seeing their son or daughter as a dependent child to recognizing him or her as a trusted adult. I suspect that when we talk about the “turbulence of adolescence,” we are equally referring to the turbulence experienced by parents as that of the adolescent!

One of the characteristics vocation directors hope to find in young men and women who approach our communities is self-possession or, in other words, an adequate degree of separation and individuation. This ability to make and defend one’s own decisions, is critical if he or she is going to freely enter into an adult relationship with another—in this case, a religious community who will ask for obedience and expect to exert a new and profound influence on his or her identity. A candidate who approaches community life while still overly dependent on his or her parents is likely to run home when community life gets hard, or struggle when, inevitably, the desires or opinions of the community diverge from those of the candidate’s family of origin.

Seen in this context, observing how a candidate handles parental resistance can offer vocation directors a window into the emotional and developmental maturity of a candidate. I am always careful when interviewing candidates to ask how their parents feel about their choice to pursue religious life or priesthood. Although I am certainly interested in knowing whether or not parents are supportive, I am more interested in learning how the candidate copes with disapproval or discouragement from parents. Reactions of extreme anxiety or secret-keeping (i.e., “I haven’t told my parents yet because I am afraid of what they’d think”) signal the possibility that more work needs to be done in the arena of healthy separation and individuation. On the other hand, responses such as, “My parents are really struggling with this, but it is important to me and I know that they will eventually come around, especially when they see how happy this makes me,” suggest a level of self-possession and confidence that is not dependent on parental approval. While a vocation director may not wish to dismiss a candidate based solely on how he or she handles parental disapproval, concerns in this area may mark psychosocial maturity as an area of potential concern and provide some impetus for dealing with separation issues as a part of ongoing discernment and initial formation.

For some candidates, the decision to pursue a religious vocation may itself be an act of rebellion—the first time he is confounding the expectations of his parents. I realize that sounds a little funny—religious life as a form of rebelling. But when we consider that adolescent rebellion is really about asserting one’s independence by pursuing ideals, goals and values, even when they differ from what our parents would choose for us, then it makes perfect sense. Rebellion does not necessarily have to take the form of antisocial behavior or disrespectful attitudes toward authority. For most of us, rebelling looks like choosing to major in history when your parents have been pushing business, or wearing baggy jeans and sloppy sweatshirts even though they offend your parents’ more tailored tastes. Seen this way, choosing to enter a monastery may very well be a sort of rebellion, particularly if you come from a family of non-church-goers!

Brother Christian Raab, OSB embraces his parents after his solemn vows ceremony.

Even among the most well-put-together candidates, parental resistance, when present, is bound to generate some anxiety. Consequently, helping the candidate or new member cope with his or her parents’ reactions may be important in facilitating his or her discernment and promoting fuller participation in the formation process. Following are a few ideas for addressing parental resistance.

Elicit concerns, provide guidance

Vocation directors may wish to ask about parental reactions to the candidate’s interest in religious life early in the vocation director-candidate relationship. By simply asking the question, a vocation director helps to normalize the experience for an individual who might be dealing with these concerns. When broached early in the discernment relationship, a vocation director may be able to head off unnecessary grief on the part of the candidate, helping him better understand the sources of his parents’ reactions, some of which I have outlined above. For the inquirer who is uncertain how her parents might react, anticipating the possibility of resistance helps her not to be surprised or unnecessarily discouraged by negative parental reactions. Anticipating the reaction might also allow the vocation director to help her develop effective strategies for dealing with the resistance early on. Along these lines, helping candidates to clarify how they feel in the face of parental disapproval (i.e., guilty, fearful, anxious) may further assist them in seeing how these feelings are affecting their discernment. In extreme cases where fear of disappointing parents immobilizes a candidate, the suggestion of working with a counselor may be appropriate.

Strategies for bringing parents on board

There are many simple and practical strategies we employ in our community to help our candidates’ parents adjust to their child’s decision to pursue a religious vocation with us. Our goal is typically to allay parental anxieties by answering questions, dispelling myths, and fostering a relationship between the community and the parents themselves. Providing parents with videos and literature about the community’s life, as well as familiarizing parents with the community’s website can go a long way in giving a concrete and more accurate impression of what their son or daughter is actually exploring for him or herself. We often encourage serious inquirers to bring their parents with them for a weekend or day-long visit to the monastery so that they can meet some of our members and see for themselves what their child is choosing. On these occasions, it is particularly helpful if the community hosts a small, informal gathering at which parents can meet other young men or women in formation, as well as formation directors, community leaders, and even members of the community who are close to the parents’ age. These are normalizing experiences for parents—particularly when they see their son interacting and being himself in this new and unfamiliar environment. In our community, we know we have been successful when parents confess to their child: “Wow, everyone here seems so normal! I especially like Brother So-and-so.” When parental visits are not possible, it is certainly worth considering a visit to the parents in their home environment, again providing an opportunity to ask questions and express concerns they might have. Your efforts to meet them where they are may be a powerful witness to your concern for them and their child.

After entry: smoothing the transition

Even once the young man or woman has entered the community, more can be done to assist both the parents and the child with the transition. We sometimes suggest that a new member in the community take pictures of his new life—his activities, his friends, the living arrangements—and include them in emails or letters to their family back home. Real images are always more helpful than imagined ones, particularly when the imagined ones are based on Hollywood stereotypes or pictures painted in the media. Parents are also relieved when they see their child looking happy and healthy and being themselves in their new home.

Finally, when assisting a candidate in negotiating parental resistance, it may be helpful to remind him or her that even though parents tend to eventually grow more comfortable with a religious vocation, the candidate can expect it to take some time. Parents may point out to the candidate that he, himself, needed time to get used to the idea of a religious vocation and that his comfort level only grew as a result of gathering more information and gaining some actual experience of the life.

To return to the film that prompted my thoughts about parent reactions, in The Song of Bernadette, Mrs. Soubirous (Bernadette’s mother) becomes one of Bernadette’s most ardent supporters, and we see the parent-child relationship evolve from one of worrying about the child, to admiration of the spiritually gifted young woman. In my experience, it is relatively rare that a parent does not eventually “come around” to the idea of a child joining a religious community. In fact, many have told me that their initially disapproving parents became the ones who would be the most disappointed if they ever left the community.

Surely, one of the developmental tasks of parents is to see their children settled in life. It is a great comfort to parents knowing that their child has a place to live, stable work and, most importantly, meaningful and lasting relationships. When these are in place, parents feel that they have done their job. Their duty is fulfilled. While it may not be immediately apparent to them, they will ultimately come to learn that the religious life can and will provide these important necessities of life for their son or daughter. As religious vocation directors, we already know this; so we ought to confidently tell our candidates that this life will similarly prove itself to them and their parents. As this occurs, the parents may begin to appreciate the courage, self-confidence and fortitude that their child exercised in following his or her call. They may take great pleasure and pride in knowing that they raised a strong and resourceful child, despite their own doubts and fears about parenting along the way.

I believe our son could make a wonderful priest. I also believe he could be a wonderful husband and father. Most days, I believe and trust that God will lead him and us.

Confessions of a seminarian’s mother

BY LISA M. ANDERSON

I MET MY FIRST CATHOLIC PRIEST when I was in eighth grade. My boyfriend suggested we stop and get married at the parish he and his family attended. What fun, I thought! We snuck into the dimly lit church and re-enacted the few parts of the ceremony we knew. We were just getting to the kissing part, when, from out of nowhere, a dour looking priest flipped on the lights, lectured us on the inappropriateness of our behavior and kicked us out. I didn’t like a single thing about that priest, and I soon associated him with taking Johnny from me. Johnny broke up with me shortly after our failed marriage attempt. I never did get that kiss.

Forty-two years later, I found myself sitting in the front pew of another Catholic church, 2000 miles away from the one I had visited with Johnny. I had been invited this time. My husband and I were there to celebrate with our youngest son, Matthew, and nine other young men making their first vows, the first step towards becoming a Dominican priest. Since my first unpleasant encounter in eighth-grade, I have come to admire, respect, and even love many priests. In fact, in the intervening years, my husband and I became Catholic, bringing our two sons into the church with us. Like many converts, we have embraced our new faith with enthusiasm and have felt blessed on our journey. But as I sat in the front pew of St. Dominic’s in Denver, I wrestled with the feeling that the church might once again be taking someone away from me. This time, it was my own treasured flesh and blood.

Lisa M. Anderson is a wife and mother of two sons. She served for many years as a career counselor at the university level and leads retreats with career and faith themes. In addition to her family, her loves include singing, writing and cooking. She lives in South Bend, IN with her husband Gary.

The thought of our son becoming a priest did not cross my mind when we became Catholic 18 years ago. At the time, we were delighted he was able to attend a Catholic Choir school for four years. During his college years, his interest in theology grew. There, he initiated a daily prayer group, and organized and led retreats. He occasionally visited religious orders and spoke with his spiritual director about a possible vocation. Somehow I still thought he was headed in different direction. Then one Sunday evening, he returned from a Dominican Come and See weekend, and declared that he had “found his people.”

His people? It felt like a punch to the gut. I thought we were his people! But there was no question. He seemed to have found who and what he was looking for. Reflecting back on that evening, I knew of his decision, even before he spoke. His face radiated a look of love and peacefulness.

Lisa Anderson takes a moment with her son, Matthew, who is in formation with the Dominicans Friars of the Province of St. Albert the Great. Lisa and her husband, Gary, visited their son during his seminary studies and became more familiar with the community.

I should have been overjoyed. Instead I felt conflicted. I love the Catholic Church and admire the faith and selfless commitment of religious men and women. To have a son that loves and wants to serve God and His church in such a fully committed way is a beautiful gift. I just wished it had been somebody else’s son who felt called, not mine. I suspect my reaction would have been different if we had given birth to other children that would marry and provide us with grandchildren. But because of our other son’s disability, Matthew is our only child able to fulfill this role.

Though I have not taken things into my own hands, as did the mother of St. Thomas Aquinas, who locked her son away for two years, I cannot deny my heartfelt dream of seeing this son of ours, happily married, with children. Much stronger, however, is my desire for our son to live the life to which he is called. Despite any pull in my heart, I know that his decision is not my business. It is his to discern, and I trust him in that process.

In the meantime, my husband and I have been learning from our son and from these beautiful Dominicans. Recently I shared with Matthew, (now Brother Isaac), my struggle in praying the rosary. He helped me to understand a different way to focus my prayer. His gentle leading has brought me closer to the Virgin Mary, patron saint of the Dominican Order. In my son and his fellow brothers, there is a tremendous love of God, and a strength and courage that I find rare. They are simply an amazing group of young men.

Yes, I want two very different things. Life tends to be this way. It is not the first time my desires have been in conflict, and I am certain it will not be the last. My heart beats alternating happy and sad beats as I hold my friend’s newborn grandchild during church or receive photographs of my sister’s granddaughters. Overall, though, I notice my acceptance growing stronger each day. Hearing from other mothers in my situation is helpful. One mother whose son became a priest shared the following:

“If our sons have a true calling, they will know it and eventually so will we. A peace will come over you when you finally accept their decision and see that it was the right one. If they don’t have a true calling, they will find that out also, on their own.”

I do not yet have that sense of peace. But I do have the conviction to support my son in his desire to become a Dominican friar, because this is what he wants. If the Dominicans are to be our son’s new family, I want to get to know them and love them the way I would a daughter-in-law and grandchildren. I believe our son could make a wonderful priest. I also believe he could be a wonderful husband and father.

Most days, I believe and trust that God will lead him and us. At times when my faith waivers, my husband invites me to pray and gently reminds me that there are many ways for us to be fertile in this world, where there are so many in need of God’s love.

Many consecrated persons are dedicated to being “a reconciling presence.” To be authentic to that commitment requires an honest look at whether religious are truly reconciled with God and one another.

Reconciliation within and among religious communities

BY SISTER MARGARET ELETTA GUIDER, OSF

THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE is drawn from a presentation the author gave in Chicago for a celebration of World Day for Consecrated Life in February, 2012 at the outset of the Lenten season.

I. Honoring our covenant, the unrelenting witness of reconciliation

(Genesis 9:8-15) Years ago, when I was a young missionary in Brazil, four sisters and I were riding together in a horse-drawn cart on a red-dirt road. We were returning to our center house after helping with the coordination of a Saturday afternoon liturgy at a nearby residential school for visually impaired children. By all accounts, it was an ordinary day, until the dark ominous clouds rolled in and the torrential rains began to fall. The experience gave new meaning to “soaking wet.” The clouds disappeared as quickly as they had appeared. The sun burst forth from the western sky and, facing east, we caught sight of one of the most amazing rainbows I have ever seen. It hung in the sky directly over the huge cross mounted on the bell tower of our convent, perfectly arched and exquisitely colored. We all fell silent, awe-struck, amazed and totally convinced of God’s powers of self-communication and covenantal love. Noah was not the only person for whom God had put a rainbow in the sky!

Sister Margaret Eletta Guider, OSF, is a member of the Sisters of St. Francis of Mary Immaculate (Joliet, IL) and served as the congregation’s vice president and councilor for mission from 2008-2012. She is an Associate Professor of Missiology at the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry, formerly Weston Jesuit School of Theology, where she has taught since 1990.

Thinking back to the experience, I am reminded of the particular covenant that God has made with us as consecrated persons—individually and collectively. I also am mindful of the way in which this particular covenant cannot be uncoupled from the reality of broken covenants or the work of reconciliation. Constitutive of this particular covenant is the evangelical exigency that we be reconciled with God and among ourselves in order to give credible witness through our unity so as to give glory to God—and to mitigate the historical and present-day scandals of our divisions. In the postmodern reality in which we find ourselves, it is no secret that the very idea of covenant—a relationship that endures over time—poses a certain paradox to a world where little is permanent, where just about everything is disposable, where obsolescence is a given, and where things which are broken are often conveniently thrown away instead of repaired. The idea of covenant is framed by a set of beliefs often associated with traditional society, beliefs about God’s action in the lives of people’s lives, beliefs about mutuality, beliefs about:

•  fidelity—understood as the belief that it is possible to be faithful to one’s promises for a lifetime;

•  trust—understood as the belief that the person(s) with whom I am in relationship is/are worthy of my confidence

•  love—understood as the belief that love is stronger than death and more powerful than the forces of evil

•  hope—understood as the belief that, despite evidence to the contrary, there is reason to hope that the promises made to us by our God and to one another will be fulfilled.

These beliefs, virtues and values are profoundly theological inasmuch as they are bound to God’s action in human history.

As consecrated persons, there is no escaping the fact that the idea of covenant is at the core of our existence. As counter-cultural as the aforementioned beliefs may be, they are nonetheless fundamental convictions—at least according to church documents and the recent documents of many of our respective institutes—upon which our lives are based. Yet, in our effort to live this covenant, two questions call forth from us considerable soul-searching:

•  In our everyday life, are we truly building upon the solid foundations of virtues that support, sustain and foster the covenant? Or,

•  Are there ways in which pretence, self-deception, and sincerely-held fictions are undermining our ability to live the covenant and revealing our need for reconciliation?

If a survey were taken of those in consecrated life, I am fairly confident that many could identify aspects of their life that to some degree go counter to fidelity, trust, love and hope. Mindful of our varied forms of life, I also suspect that many would have direct or indirect knowledge of the polarizing forces understood as the “double opposites” whereby we discover that:

•  the opposite of fidelity is not only infidelity, but also arrogance and mean-spirited self-righteousness,

•  the opposite of trust is not only a lack of trust, but also hypocrisy and deceptive practices that reinforce “life lies” as if they were true,

•  the opposite of love is not only hatred, but also indifference, where the violence of neglect is every bit as grave as that of abuse, and

•  the opposite of hope is not only despair, but also presumption, where the blessings of life are taken for granted with a sense of entitlement.

Any one of these polarizing or opposing forces can contribute to the breakdown and the breaking apart of the covenantal relationship. Theologically speaking, we know that God’s response to broken covenants is reconciliation—not cheap grace or cheap forgiveness or cheap healing, but a costly grace, a costly forgiveness and a costly healing. While we may address the importance of consecrated persons being a “reconciling presence” in the church and in the world, we cannot do so with authenticity, integrity and transparency, unless we are willing to honestly assess the degree to which we—all of us—are truly reconciled (or not) with God and one another, knowing that, like charity, reconciliation must begin at home—in the internal forum and from there extend to the external. For this reason, it is not sufficient for consecrated persons to gather and focus our attentions solely on our contributions to processes of reconciliation taking place in the heart of the church or the world. To be those authentic heralds of the Gospel, to which our consecration calls us, we must not only believe what we proclaim, we must live what we proclaim in the heart of our institutes—respectively and collectively. Therein resides the tension and the challenge of the questions with which we must wrestle both individually and collectively:

•  To what degree am I/are we truly reconciled with God?

•  To what degree am I/are we truly reconciled with my/our own sisters or brothers?

•  To what degree am I /are we truly reconciled with our sisters and brothers in other institutes or forms of consecrated life? And finally,

•  To what degree am I /are we truly reconciled with the church and our ecclesial leaders?

In need of reconciliation with God

With regard to our covenant with God, in what ways are we in need of reconciliation? It is not that difficult to imagine God questioning why we have been so obstinate in refusing to allow ourselves to be led by grace into unknown and unfolding futures, preferring instead to remain in place, believing ourselves to be the masters or mistresses of those monuments (whatever they may be) to our acquired power, privilege and prestige. Why, God might ask us, have we failed or refused to attend to the cries of the poor, the vulnerable, and the marginalized—not only those outside our gates, but also those within them? Finally, it is not difficult to envision God posing to us the same question repeatedly posed to the “chosen ones” who have gone before us: why do we prefer to offer incense and burnt sacrifices rather than the offering of humble and contrite hearts? (Psalm 51:16-17; I Sam 15:22; Matt 12:7)

Switching perspectives, while we know God is with us always, are there not times when our lamenting hearts cry out: “Where are You?” For those among us who are members of institutes that are in states of decline, diminishment, or serious economic distress, we may be feeling more like Naomi or Job than Abraham. We have been faithful: there is evidence and no doubt, yet why have we not flourished or ceased to flourish or been denied the possibility of flourishing? For others of us who are part of institutes or forms of life facing different kinds of challenges, what response can we offer to those who present themselves as generous young women and men eager to devote themselves to the missio Dei but who are impeded in realizing their vocations because of immigration status or student loans? Why, we might ask, have the lives of some of our sisters or brothers been cut short too early in life or been severely limited by tragic accidents or devastating illnesses? Like the prophet Jeremiah, we might wonder not only why have we been duped, but why did we let ourselves be duped? (Jeremiah 20:7-9). Why is it, we may ask in the “Gethsemanes” of our institutes, do our pleas and laments seemingly go unheeded by a God whom we experience as silent, indifferent or removed from the horrors, persecutions and anxieties that we face? And when the disillusionment of the disciples of Emmaus becomes our own, what meaning can we make of a covenant in which we had hoped, especially when hope seems lost? (Luke 24:21)

Broken covenants in religious communities and in the church

With regard to our covenant with our own sisters or brothers, in what ways are we in need of reconciliation?

This question may be difficult to face, yet if we are serious about being a reconciling presence in our church and in our world, face it we must: How have covenants been broken within our own institutes? Did members leave us? Or are there ways in which we left them first? Why have leaders not trusted members? Why have members not trusted leaders? When have regions or provinces been made to feel “second class,” not worthy of trust, insignificant or financial burdens on the institute at large? When have we treated our sisters or brothers with disabilities or debilitating conditions with indifference, placing them on the margins with no second thoughts or excluded them from participating fully in the life of the institute? Why have sisters or brothers been treated with contempt or disdain because of their family background, race, ethnicity, identity, age, physical appearance, personal beliefs, individual piety? And further, why do some of us persist in asserting that “everything is fine,” living less conspicuously in denial or pretense, rather than mindfully acknowledging a problem and assuming responsibility for challenging and changing problematic realities? For the sake of covenant and communion, what are we really willing to risk? How difficult is it to figure out why we, as sisters and brothers, have sometimes chosen to bind ourselves to unhealed wounds and longstanding hurts rather than take a chance on creating the conditions for mutual understanding and the possibility of reconciliation?

With regard to our covenant with sisters and brothers in other institutes or forms of consecrated life, in what ways are we in need of reconciliation?

This is a question to which we may not have paid a great deal of attention in the past or even in the present, because there were ways in which our focus often is concentrated on the issues and concerns of our own institutes at the exclusion of others. How slow we often have been to offer assistance or to ask for it, especially when autonomy and self-sufficiency are viewed as the hallmarks of stewardship far more than co-operation, collaboration and interdependency. Consider those religious institutes whose sponsored ministries became the big fish that swallowed the little fish of other congregations’ ministries whose heritage and legacy frequently disappeared over time. Consider the school, retreat center or nursing home of one institute that is threatened to be put out of business because another religious institute is competing more effectively for the market share of students, retreatants or residents. Finally, consider the tensions and antipathies of the past three years, 50 years, 200 years, or 800 years, that have led to separations, divisions and seemingly irreconcilable differences among institutes that are part of the same religious family, tensions that have been passed down from one generation to the next, tensions that divide brother from brother, sister from sister, and sisters from brothers. Are there not ways in which, with hearts transformed by grace, we can restore and revive the attitudes of mutual reverence and respect that are the evangelical pre-conditions (Matthew 7:1-5) for furthering the fraternal and sororal practices of mutual understanding, mutual encouragement, mutual support and mutual correction?

With regard to our covenant with the church and ecclesial leaders, in what ways are we in need of reconciliation?

On the one hand, consider the times when the labors of consecrated women and men are undervalued, taken for granted, judgmentally and unfairly scrutinized or eliminated with no due process from one day to the next. On the other hand, consider how we as consecrated persons are able to find the poor, the powerless, the elderly, the homeless, the forgotten, those in need of evangelization, and those most in need of the church’s ministries, yet the question remains, are we sufficiently visible to be found by them? Consider priests, sisters, brothers and seminarians from religious institutes or societies of apostolic life from countries in Asia, Africa, Latin America or Europe who are made to feel like unwelcomed strangers and aliens within a dominant ecclesial culture, rather than being recognized not as “international ministers” but as the missionaries they are. Consider the implications for our covenant and communion as consecrated men and women from many forms of life when prominent voices in the church minimize the contemporary significance of historical religious institutes and their lay collaborators, consigning their contributions to the past and declaring without nuance that the church’s future belongs to new ecclesial movements and new communities. Consider the ecclesial challenges encountered by bishops as well as theologians whose respective ministries are distinctively informed and influenced by their own vocational identities as consecrated persons and members of religious institutes.[1]

Reconciliation in “Vita Consecrata”

FRATERNITY IN A DIVIDED AND UNJUST WORLD

51. The Church entrusts to communities of consecrated life the particular task of spreading the spirituality of communion, first of all in their internal life and then in the ecclesial community, and even beyond its boundaries, by opening or continuing a dialogue in charity, especially where today’s world is torn apart by ethnic hatred or senseless violence. Placed as they are within the world’s different societies—societies frequently marked by conflicting passions and interests, seeking unity but uncertain about the ways to attain it — communities of consecrated life, where persons of different ages, languages and cultures meet as brothers and sisters, are signs that dialogue is always possible and that communion can bring differences into harmony.

Consecrated men and women are sent forth to proclaim, by the witness of their lives, the value of Christian fraternity and the transforming power of the Good News, which makes it possible to see all people as sons and daughters of God, and inspires a self-giving love towards everyone, especially the least of our brothers and sisters. Such communities are places of hope and of the discovery of the Beatitudes, where love, drawing strength from prayer, the wellspring of communion, is called to become a pattern of life and source of joy. In an age characterized by the globalization of problems and the return of the idols of nationalism, international institutes especially are called to uphold and to bear witness to the sense of communion between peoples, races and cultures. In a climate of fraternity, openness to the global dimension of problems will not detract from the richness of particular gifts, nor will the affirmation of a particular gift conflict with other gifts or with unity itself. International Institutes can achieve this effectively, inasmuch as they have to face in a creative way the challenge of inculturation, while at the same time preserving their identity.

COMMUNION AMONG DIFFERENT INSTITUTES

52. Fraternal spiritual relations and mutual cooperation among different Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life are sustained and nourished by the sense of ecclesial communion. Those who are united by a common commitment to the following of Christ and are inspired by the same Spirit cannot fail to manifest visibly, as branches of the one Vine, the fullness of the Gospel of love. Mindful of the spiritual friendship which often united founders and foundresses during their lives, consecrated persons, while remaining faithful to the character of their own Institute, are called to practice a fraternity which is exemplary and which will serve to encourage the other members of the Church in the daily task of bearing witness to the Gospel.

Reconciliation requires courage, wisdom

I raise these questions and pose these considerations not to provoke, but to draw attention to those realities in which the experience and witness of our covenant and communion as consecrated persons are put at risk, threatened with breaking, and at times, broken—in multi-dimensional ways—vertically, horizontally and spherically. Without naming and identifying the ways in which our covenant and communion with one another and at times with our church have been put at risk, threatened with breaking, and broken, it may be important for us to pause and assess the degree to which the “gestalt” of our collective witness as consecrated persons is too often viewed “in parts” rather than as a “whole.” To the extent that this analysis is accurate, can we truly be that reconciling presence so needed in our church and in our world? Among ourselves, within the internal forum, we must dare to face what is often perceived by outsiders as a covenant more often characterized or sensationalized as fragmented or broken, not only in pieces, but in smithereens. If it is on these terms that the so-called “reconciling presence” of consecrated persons is to be evaluated by the people of God, our credibility is inevitably placed in serious jeopardy. Yet … with regard to the integrity and vitality of the covenant, I believe transforming grace is possible. We must seek out sacred opportunities to recognize that we—all of us—with God’s help, are the only and the best hope of the covenant’s restoration, renewal and rebirth.

Transforming grace is possible. We must seek out sacred opportunities to recognize that we—all of us—with God’s help, are the only and the best hope of the covenant’s restoration

Indeed, the work of reconciliation is difficult and arduous. It requires courage and wisdom, patience and imagination, the kind of imagination which, even if it cannot bring about the desired reconciliation in the here and now, does not cease to continue to envision and hope for the possibility of reconciliation in the future. To this particular point, the 2011 French film Of Gods and Men, which recounts the story of a group of French Trappist monks in Algeria, is instructive.[2] Amidst political violence and civil strife, the monks of the Tibherine monastery, knowing full well that their lives inevitably were at risk, had become a reconciling presence among the people in the region of the Atlas mountains. In a powerful scene, the prior, Christián, seeks to discover what it means to be a reconciling presence among his own brothers who are divided right down the middle as to whether they should remain with the people (and face certain martyrdom) or flee the danger (in the hopes of returning when the conflict is resolved). For those who have not seen the film, I will not be a spoiler except to say that it is a film well worth the time and reflection of consecrated persons interested and invested in the dynamics of reconciliation ad extra and ad intra.

II: Heralds of the word, our pledge to God is a clear conscience

(I Peter 3:18-22) Like our heroes and heroines in religious life, we too have been drawn to stand before God—to cross the threshold of the “door of faith” as consecrated persons—and to find in this “new space” a place that is beyond guilt for what we have done or regret for what we have failed to do, or indignation for what has been done to us and to others or profound grief over losses that cannot be restored—in that sacred space where living with a clear conscience becomes our pledge to God.

The pledge for a clear conscience is a commitment to mindfulness, to attentiveness, to living with an undivided heart, a heart that is humble, a heart upon which the law of the Lord has been written (Jeremiah 31:33). It is a pledge informed by our hearing, proclaiming and living the Word whose herald we are. This pledge is what enables us to become that reconciling presence so desperately needed in our institutes, in our church and in our world. It requires us to pay attention when our lives become unfocused and over-whelmed by distractions, competing claims and discordant voices. In taking into account the multiple demands which are part of our lives, along with the difficulties that we face in trying to keep our lives focused and uncluttered, we do well to remember the struggles of the rest of the world. Such remembrance is also part of the pledge.

Our efforts to live with a clear conscience require of us a daily examen regarding how distractions, mental vacations, open-eyed siestas, not paying attention or attending too much to insignificant things can sabotage our effectiveness as heralds of the Word and place in jeopardy the quality of our everyday experiences of living the covenant. How often does our failure to cultivate a humble and contrite heart result in our inability to perceive and intuit who and what is truly in need of hearing the Word whose ministers we are, because the focus of our attention is drawn more to drama than to substance, to concerns about our own justification rather than the welfare of others? Indeed, sometimes it is our own egos that get in the way, but often we are just not paying attention.

For all of our talk of discernment, how many decisions do we make precipitously without considering the impact and toll they will take on the lives of others? We can stand in horror over the plight of displaced persons in devastated areas of our world who from one day to the next lose everything, and yet when we act with dispatch in the relocation of members, are we really paying attention to the price paid by an elderly brother or infirm sister or a candidate in formation whose life is turned inside out in the blink of an eye? As heralds of the Word, our integrity is put to the test every time our actions betray the message of the Gospel. Consider the reactions of those who are in a privileged place to observe us—at our best and our worst—when as employees, students, residents, vendors, family members, benefactors, or trustees they have occasion to walk away from us with disappointment or disdain, rather than delight or edification, saying: “So, this is what ‘living the mission’ looks like in practice?”

Opening our eyes, ears and hearts

As these examples illustrate, our pledge to live with a clear conscience is not easy, but it is a simple and a constant reminder of the reality to which Francis of Assisi referred when he spoke the words: “Who we are before God, this we are and nothing more” (Hebrews 4:13). Conscious of the fact that we have been called to diverse ministries of reconciliation according to God’s particular will and purpose, we cannot help but be attentive to the demands of the vertical, horizontal and spherical dimensions of reconciliation. Living with this awareness inevitably stirs up in us a profound realization about our roles as consecrated persons at this moment in history where violence, brokenness and every manifestation of the mysterium iniquitatis, the mystery of evil, abound. Mindful of our pledge, we come not only to realize the weight of reality, but also our particular call as consecrated persons to shoulder the weight of reality and, with God’s grace, to take charge of the weight of reality in ways that contribute to reconciliation and transformation.[3]

As heralds of the Word, committed to being a reconciling presence amidst the realities in which we find ourselves, our pledge to God to live with a clear conscience implies that we live consciously and conscientiously—with eyes wide open, with ears wide open, with hearts and minds wide open—that, like the Prophet Isaiah (50:4-5), we are awake, despiertos y despiertas, to the reality that God has given each of us a disciple’s tongue, that we might know how to give a word of comfort to the weary. Morning after morning, God wakes us up to listen, to see, to feel and to think like disciples so that we may perceive where reconciliation is most needed and act accordingly. God looks to us to make good on our pledge, without resistance, without turning away, to be heralds of the Word through the witness and the action of our lives.

Our pledge to God to live with a clear conscience implies that we live consciously and conscientiously—with eyes wide open, with ears wide open, with hearts and minds wide open.

III. Hearts transformed by grace: repenting and believing the Good News

(Mark 1:12-15) “The time of fulfillment has come, the Reign of God is at hand, repent and believe the Good News” (Mark 1:15). With these words as recorded in the Gospel of Mark, Jesus inaugurates his ministry of calling forth disciples and followers, persons open to having their hearts transformed by grace. For each of us, the experience of call has been mediated in some form or fashion by other consecrated persons who, through their own following of Jesus, have enabled us to recognize those times of fulfillment when we experience that the reign of God is at hand. Years ago, while I was on a retreat, I remember being directed to do a “mapping” of all the various religious institutes and forms of consecrated life that had contributed in some way to my own sense of vocation. At the time, the exercise was most instructive, but perhaps it was not until more recently that I have grasped more fully its significance. In diverse and varied ways, from my early childhood through adulthood, my life has been shaped and influenced at different times and in different places by many groups: the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart, the School Sisters of Notre Dame, the Daughters of St. Mary of Providence, the Joliet Franciscans, the School Sisters of St. Francis, the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur, the Congregation of Notre Dame, the Franciscan Friars, the Kentucky Dominicans, the Sinsinawa Dominicans, the Religious of the Sacred Heart, the Passionist Priests and Brothers, members of Focolare, the Maryknoll Sisters, the Society of the Divine Word, the Oblates of Mary Immaculate, the Jesuits—and if time permitted, the litany could go on. But I believe I’ve made my point. It takes many forms of consecrated life to inspire, guide and sustain each one of us as a consecrated person across the lifespan. In a similar manner, it takes the witness of all of us to remind each one us of the call of Jesus to repent and believe in the Good News.

It takes many forms of consecrated life to inspire, guide and sustain each one of us as a consecrated person across the lifespan.

Repentance, understood as metanoia, a changing of our minds and hearts, cannot be uncoupled from the act of faith that makes possible our belief in the Good News, the evangelion, that is always new. More importantly, neither can it be uncoupled from the experience of God’s transforming grace, an experience that enables us not only to listen deeply, beyond words, but also to see deeply, beyond externals. It is this kind of “seeing”—“eyelash to eyelash,” “the ability to look into the eyes of another” as Sister Joan Scanlon, OP puts it—that speaks to the meaning of reconciliation. And it is precisely the experience of reconciliation that leads us to hope and to a deep sense of joy (1 Thessalonians 5).

At the conclusion of Porta Fidei, Pope Benedict XVI writes:

The trials of life, while helping us to understand the mystery of the Cross and to participate in the sufferings of Christ (cf. Colossians 1:24), are a prelude to the joy and hope to which faith leads: “when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). We believe with firm certitude that the Lord Jesus has conquered evil and death. With this sure confidence we entrust ourselves to him: he, present in our midst, overcomes the power of the evil one (cf. Luke 11:20); and the Church, the visible community of his mercy, abides in him as a sign of definitive reconciliation with the Father. (15)

As we ponder the questions put forward here, these reflections afford us an opportunity to enter a “new social space” for the purpose of beginning a journey together—as sisters and as brothers—united by the common bond of our consecration. Let us pray that we may continue to grow in our understanding of what it means to be unrelenting witnesses of reconciliation, heralds of the Word with hearts transformed by grace. May our covenant with God and one another, our pledge of a clear conscience and our belief in the Good News enable us to be a courageous, credible and creative “reconciling presence”—inspired by God’s grace, sent forth in mission, a communion of charisms, united in faith, amidst our diversity—that is God’s delight.

I conclude with these words of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, whose message about the various religious orders of his day remains ever timely:

I admire them all. I belong to one of them by observance, but to all of them by charity. We all need one another: the spiritual good which I do not own and possess, I receive from others.... In this exile, the Church is still on pilgrimage and is, in a certain sense, plural: she is a single plurality and a plural unity. All our diversities, which make manifest the richness of God’s gifts, will continue to exist in the one house of the Father, which has many rooms. Now there is a division of graces; then there will be distinctions of glory. Unity, both here and there, consists in one and the same charity. (From the Apologia as quoted in Vita Consecrata, 52)

______________________________

1. See Daniel J. Harrington and Donald Senior, 1 Peter, Jude and 2 Peter (Sacra Pagina) (Collegeville: Liturgical Press, 2008) 99-111.

2. See also John Kiser, The Monks of Tibherine: Faith, Love and Terror in Algeria (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2002).

3. See Kevin F. Burke, SJ, The Ground Beneath the Cross: The Theology of Ignacio Ellacuría (Washington, D.C.: Georgetown University Press, 2000) 127.

Laughter, creativity and play can help us grow spiritually. And these essential attributes can help those in vocation discernment relax enough to hear God’s call.

Taking ourselves lightly: a place for humor and play in discernment

BY SISTER MICHELE VINCENT FISHER, CSFN

If I could write two words on my tombstone, I would like those who pass by to read: “She laughed.” I want to leave behind a legacy of joy, a smile for the world and giggle of glee at the very mystery of life. I don’t know when my last breath will come, but I do know that in this moment, I want to breathe in the goodness of God and bask in the oil of gladness. I want to play as fervently as I pray and laugh as heartily as I take up my daily tasks. In this way, I know that the fullness of life is within my grasp and the Kingdom of God is at hand.

Let’s face it, life is serious. And religious life is often perceived as seriousness squared. For the most part, Hollywood has done us no favors, portraying clergy and religious as somber, humorless, strict and obsessive or overly innocent and childish. Healthy humor, laughter and play need to have a place on our community agenda if we are going to survive. All the more, persons in the discernment process need to be in touch with the lighter side of life. Certainly, the challenges that our next generation of men and women religious will face are daunting, but not impossible. Unless people can witness our individual and communal spirit of joy, it is no wonder that individuals sometimes want to run in fear when they discern a possible vocation to ordained or consecrated life. They might never smile again! Or so they think.

Sister Michele Vincent Fisher, CSFN is vocation director for the Congregation of the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth, Holy Family Province, USA. She is currently serving on the Board of the National Religious Vocation Conference and on the Board of Trustees of Nazareth Academy High School in Philadelphia, PA. In addition, she coordinates a group of Associates of the Holy Family, a ministry of the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth. In the past she has worked in secondary education, childcare, parish ministry and in adult caregiving. And she laughs–a lot!

Play together, stay together

I recall a rather animated exchange with my college roommate’s Italian mother when she discovered that I was planning on becoming a sister. With tears in her eyes, she muttered: “But you like to have fun! How are you gonna make it in the convent?” I joyfully assured her that I’d seen the lighter side of life in the convent and that the sisters I knew were actually quite full of fun. One of my fondest memories was of the day my “sisters-to-be” took a three-hour drive to visit me while I was spending my summer as a Girl Scout camp counselor. That particular day, was “Backwards Day”: we were wearing our clothes backwards and eating our meals from dessert to salad. My visitors greeted me with smiles, admiring my backward attire and enjoying brownies as a first course. Later, they donned giant garbage bags when the skies opened up and poured rain on us. That was the day I knew that this was the community for me! After all, a community that plays together stays together.

It is conducive to the discernment process to allow the time and space to relax, to use one’s creativity and to have fun. This group of young women in Texas made masks during a discernment retreat led by the author.

Defuse tension, relax and focus

Fast forward 23 years. As full-time vocation director for my congregation, the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth (CSFN), I have the privilege of helping discerners tap into that same wellspring of joy and find there a key that can open the door to peace and freedom of heart. Discerners frequently come to the discernment process carrying burdens. Resistance from family and friends, feelings of insecurity, anxiety about finding the “right” community, diverse theological or spiritual perspectives, concerns about debt and finances—these are just a few factors that add to the seriousness of someone discerning a vocation. Finding healthy ways to defuse the tension helps discerners to relax and re-direct their energy to create new perspectives and broaden their horizons.

In keeping with this philosophy, the schedule for one of my community’s “Come and See” days or discernment weekends includes (in addition to prayer, quiet time and small group discussion about vows and community life) singing, games, watching movies, artistic expression, and community service. Occasionally someone will ask me why we are spending valuable time on seemingly “frivolous” things when the discerners are with us to learn about religious life. The benefits of these playful activities far outweigh the concern that the discerners will go away without receiving sufficient understanding of the ways of religious life. In fact, the opposite is true.

Discerners who are able to relax, laugh, use their creativity and expend physical energy during a discernment experience are more willing to come back for a second look. If members of the religious community join with the discerners when possible, the positive effect doubles. Healthy, animated interaction and a spirited sense of humor among community members attract discerners and increase the bonds of communion between members and with potential new members. Opportunities for informal conversation and sharing during times of play create an environment of trust and openness and often lead to the formation of deep and long-lasting relationships.

For the vocation director, seeing and experiencing someone “at play” provides valuable insights about the discerner that other assessments might otherwise overlook. Observing a discerner’s sense of humor and play opens a window into the personality. For example is the discerner’s sense of humor laced with sarcasm, cynicism, sexism, racism or self-deprecating innuendos? Does the person use humor to avoid conflict or to mask feelings of inadequacy? Is the person’s humor appropriate to the situation? Does an overly-heightened sense of humor indicate a high level of anxiety? Does the discerner generally have a joyful, peaceful disposition? Is the discerner able to analyze situations and find humor in the sometimes topsy-turvy events of daily life? Is the discerner able to pick up social cues and understand when humor is inappropriate? Can the discerner appreciate and understand the humor of others? Does the discerner take offense at the humor of others (assuming that it is appropriate to the situation)? Does the discerner use humor to draw attention to him or herself rather than using it to engage others and stimulate conversation? Does the discerner react negatively to humor or find it “childish?” Is the discerner able to find humor and play in the context of Sacred Scripture? Does the discerner’s image of God point to a God of gladness and joy who delights in His children and gently forgives their sins and shortcomings? The answers to these questions provide insightful, valuable information about discerners’ basic dispositions, about their images of God and religious life and about their approach to handling the circumstances and situations that life brings.

As we grow in genuine friendship with God, we fear less and trust more, and we discover the secret of adding lightheartedness to our spiritual life.

Recreational and service experiences provide an opportunity to see how discerners interact socially and participate in community. Discerners often use these opportunities for healthy self-disclosure. I can frequently learn more about a discerner as we weed a garden together, fly a kite or discuss a movie than I can in a more formal interview. Discerners with self-esteem issues, depression or other social inadequacies often decline to participate in group play or work experiences and may appear distant or isolated from the rest of the group. With encouragement, some of these discerners are able to experience increased trust and willingness to take initiative when other discerners and community members lovingly draw them into the activity. Recreational and service opportunities provide common ground for a group of discerners and allow them to problem-solve, use their creative resources, test their communication skills and share faith with one another. Through play and interactive activities, the vocation director can assess a discerner’s social strengths and community building capacities. These indicators are crucial at the beginning of a candidate’s journey in initial formation when he or she is striving to bond with the community and offer his or her gifts for the common good.

In a 2011 baccalaureate address given at the University of Pennsylvania, Father James Martin, SJ reminded his listeners that “joy, humor and laughter are under-appreciated values in the spiritual life and represent an essential element in one’s own relationship to God.” He goes on to state that humor is a tool for humility. When we can laugh at our own humanity, our foibles and eccentricities, our ego is kept in check and we can be more open to transformation. Laughing about our imperfections gives them less power over us and gives us greater power to change.

Humor speaks truth to power. If we look at the Gospels with the lens of humor, we will see that Jesus used humor to ensure that his message would not go unnoticed. With a wink and a laugh, Jesus disturbed the comfortable and comforted the disturbed. Eating with sinners, washing feet, stopping a would-be stoning, calling men out of trees or telling them to walk away from their life’s labor are just a few examples of Jesus’ unique humor and perspective. It’s much easier to change the world with an injection of laughter than with an infusion of force.

Joy is an important part of our relationship with God. God invites us to be friends, to be intimately known, loved and blessed. As we grow in genuine friendship with God, we fear less and trust more, and we discover the secret of adding lightheartedness to our spiritual life.

Creative play unlocks the heart

On a practical note, I applied these notions in a concrete way in vocation ministry during a retreat one year. It turned out to be one of the best Discernment Weekends we ever offered. We usually host a Discernment Weekend in November, but due to a scheduling conflict, we had to change the weekend to October 30-November 1. Realizing that the weekend encompassed both Halloween and All Saints Day, we took advantage of two rather creative and playful ideas for our evening recreation.

In an activity designed to develop the concept of uncovering our true identity and owning our false self-images, participants2 were given a white face mask and were instructed to draw a line down the center of the mask, from forehead to chin. On the left side of the mask, they were asked to draw symbols and images of the false self that they desired to shed. On the right side of the mask, they were asked to draw symbols and images of the face of Christ that they desired to put on so as to grow in holiness and true knowledge of self. After each participant had sufficient time to work on her mask, everyone was invited to come back together and share reflections with the group. What followed was a deep, powerful and reflective sharing from the heart. Given that just 24 hours earlier, these women were almost complete strangers to one another, the proof of the power of play and creative expression was tangible.

A second activity, pumpkin carving, found participants gathered around tables, assisting one another in designing and carving their pumpkins. Another group worked on sifting through the pumpkin “insides” to pull out the seeds for roasting. When all the pumpkins were prepared, we placed candles inside each pumpkin and turned off the lights to see the beautiful works of art. In reflecting on this activity we noted that in order to be God’s light in the world, we first had to sink our hands into the messy inside of the pumpkin, pulling it out and straining it to separate the seeds for later consumption. We noted that even in the messiness, the seeds of goodness can be found. As the inside of the pumpkin was cleared, we talked about the necessity of removing blocks so that the light might shine through the holes and cracks to reveal something beautiful. Even though the atmosphere was playful and light hearted, the activity brought many in the group to tears as they acknowledged where they were on the continuum of spiritual growth and self-understanding.

The evening ended with a special cupcake treat, prepared by one of the discerners. The cupcakes were decorated and topped with cookies to resemble grave stones. As we enjoyed the sweet treat, participants were invited to share with the group what they would like to have engraved on their tomb-stone. We laughed at some of our silly responses, but later acknowledged that we’re all “saints-in-the-making,” called to leave our mark on the world. We prayed a litany of the saints, calling upon those heroes in our faith history and in our personal history as well, asking them to surround us and fill us with courage and strength to do great things for God.

Spice it up

If you’re wondering how to spice up your discernment activities to include opportunities for play, humor, service and community building, you don’t have to look far. Consider opportunities within your own reach.

•  Does your gathering place have access to a nursing center where discerners can visit with the “wisdom figures” of the congregation?

•  Does your community have artists, writers and musicians who can share their gifts with discerners and help them to draw upon their creativity?

•  Are there any special liturgical feasts or holidays that take place close to or during your discernment activities that can be a springboard for creative ideas?

•  Can community members be present and participate in recreational or creative initiatives?

•  Does your congregation have a garden or other outdoor seasonal work—anything from leaf-raking to snow shoveling—that participants can work together to accomplish?

•  Is there space for discerners to collaborate in a cooking project such as soup making or cookie baking? Afterward, could they distribute the results to a group or individuals in need?

•  Does your congregation have a special mission with the poor or underprivileged that discerners could participate in?

•  Is there a film or TV show with themes related to discernment, social justice or the community charism? This material could be viewed and discussed.

•  Do you have a space to play cards or board games, especially games that draw on creativity and imagination?

•  Do you have access to a gym or another indoor or outdoor facility or property with space for physical activity, team sports and recreation?

Don’t be afraid to take advantage of spontaneous opportunities for fun. Many times discerners themselves will find ways to use their creativity and humor during their free time or in response to an activity. Let the Spirit lead and refrain from trying to control or re-direct the work that has begun. Relax and try to draw others, particularly your own community members, into the fun. Most of all, enjoy the lightheartedness that comes when brothers and sisters work, pray and play side by side and attract others to share in the gift of life that religious community fosters.

The 10 best practices for vocation ministry today

THESE BEST PRACTICES were gleaned from the results of the NRVC-CARA study of new members released in 2009. See nrvc.net/best_practices to read the full report.

Be proactive

Interviews with vocation directors and others revealed that many institutes successful in attracting new members made a decision at some point to do something about vocations and new membership. In some cases, the decision came from a chapter or assembly; in others it came from leadership. Whatever the case, the institute decided to be proactive and to invest in vocation promotion.

Create a culture of vocations

Many of the successful institutes are characterized by a “culture of vocations” within the institute. In these institutes everyone—not just the vocation director—has a sense of responsibility for vocation promotion and is involved in and supportive of vocation efforts. This includes leadership and membership as well as support services such as communications and development. In some cases, the institutions and ministries of the institute are also involved in vocation promotion efforts.

Invest in a full-time vocation director

Findings from the survey of religious institutes reveal a positive correlation between having a vocation director, especially one who is full-time, and having candidates and new members in initial formation. Having a full-time director is also positively correlated with having a higher number of members who have entered and stayed since 1990, as well as with a higher retention rate.

Use media to communicate

Religious institutes that reported that they use the Internet for vocation promotion are also more likely to report having new members. Print materials and, to a lesser extent, advertising and TV also have some influence. No significant relationship exists between using radio for vocation promotion and having new members. Using multiple types of media also does not appear to have a significant impact. Findings from the survey of new members indicate that the younger they are, the more likely they are to say that Web sites, CDs, DVDs, and videos and print and online promotional materials were helpful.

Sponsor discernment programs

Religious institutes that sponsor various discernment programs are more successful in attracting and retaining new members than those that do not. In particular, those that sponsor discernment retreats are significantly more likely than those that do not sponsor these retreats to have new members in initial formation and to be more successful in retaining them. Discernment groups, “Come and See” experiences, and ministry/mission experiences are also positively correlated with new membership. Discernment retreats and discernment groups are also correlated with higher retention rates, while live-in experiences and discernment houses are related to having members in initial formation but not necessarily to retaining them. Offering multiple discernment programs is correlated with having new members in initial formation, as well as with having higher numbers who enter and stay.

Target younger age groups

Religious institutes that sponsor vocation promotion and discernment programs directed toward college students and young adults are more likely to have new members than those who do not sponsor programs for these groups. Although the relationship is not as strong statistically, targeting high school students also appears to have an impact on attracting and retaining new members.

Populist history of religious life full of drama, pathos

BY SISTER PATRICIA KENNY, RSM

THE SCOPE OF THE STORY implied in this book’s title is awesome: The Lord as Their Portion: The Story of the Religious Orders and How They Shaped Our World (2011, Eerdmans). The likelihood that anyone but an historian would seek out this book is questionable, and that is unfortunate for this book is truly a story: artfully written, full of characters and settings, drama and pathos. Author Elizabeth Rapley, an adjunct professor of history at the University of Ottawa in Ontario, Canada, is a meticulous researcher and a master storyteller. For those whose interests take them to historical accounts of world-shaping events, this book is not to be overlooked. For those charged with the formation of candidates and novices, a valuable tool may be found here in this book’s explanation of how religious life grew in tandem with the Catholic Church and with events that changed the world.

Sister Patricia Kenny, RSM is a Sister of Mercy of the Americas and serves as publications editor in the communications department at the Institute of the Sisters of Mercy office in Silver Spring, Maryland. Her experience living a consecrated life spans more than 50 years and includes ministries in education, housing, leadership and care for retired sisters.

Ms. Rapley admits that this book was written for people “for whom monks and nuns are only a distant memory, or who have never known them at all.” While that might seem to exclude the people about whom the book is written, this is not true at all. Though most monks, nuns and religious in general think they know a good deal of history, especially about their own orders, congregations, institutes and communities, this chronological development from the 4th to the 20th century is still both enlightening and fascinating.

The author opens at a time when, “inch by inch, western Europe emerged from its Dark Ages,” and Christians who had survived the violent centuries that followed the collapse of the Roman Empire strove to keep the memory and treasures of their ancient faith alive. Virtually all Europeans and their rulers were illiterate and most nobles and knights despised learning. The small nucleus who could read were often monks who guarded what they knew, transcribed and interpreted it. While “contempt for the world” was often their reason for becoming monks, they were held in high esteem by the faithful, who relied upon them to be their mediators between heaven and earth. Those in religious life preached, provided the sacraments, set good examples and taught the children of petty nobility to read. They were also gradually drawn into the entanglements of their place and time, even to complicity in the Crusades.

The chapter on the Middle Ages (1200-1500) introduces the struggle that has dominated the growth of Christianity and especially religious life. We now call it the distinction between church and state, but its roots sink far deeper than this era. From the time of the Caesars, compacts between rulers of state and church officials were fraught with the benefits of state protections and privileges and the fine line between support and control. In feudal Europe, it was common for a king to include a monastery or two among his holdings and to engage the abbot or prior in the privileged inner circle at his castle. Inevitably this created tensions within the monastery where a simple life was the legacy of the founder. This was also a time when the needs of the people exerted a powerful call to those monks and friars whose lives were also simple but more stable. Sharing the produce they grew, providing what service they could to the sick, teaching the children and adults about the faith they professed but knew scarcely anything about seemed only right.

While women were drawn to monastic life almost as early as were men, their history was complicated by the same social constraints that held women in check for centuries. At a time when women had two choices: marriage or the nunnery, they often didn’t have the chance to freely choose either one. Marriages were arranged; unmarriageable girls were packed off to the “safety” of the convent, often still under the strict control and observance of bishops. Women’s natural propensity for service was neither permitted nor approved as a nun was never to be seen outside the cloister. Rapley’s stories of the creative ways women such as Catherine of Siena and St. Clare eluded the constrictions amaze the reader. Inequities existed within some convents between women from wealthy families who brought with them luxuries, including their servants, and women of humbler backgrounds who came with only their dowry. Such differences created a caste system that defied the very concept of a nun’s life.

What is most troubling are the conflicted stories of amity and enmity between governments and the religious orders. In alternating cycles, monasteries were the darlings and then the antagonists to many potentates. Almost every European country and many Asian empires relied upon the services of religious, holding them in highest esteem and bestowing great favors in terms of property and wealth, and then banishing them entirely from the kingdom, disgraced as agents of the devil. The Jesuits in particular were singled out and suppressed mainly because of their sworn allegiance to the pope. Even greater scandal was caused by the internal confusion within some religious congregations—for instance, some were internally divided over laxity versus ever-stricter adherence to the Rule.

Elizabeth Rapley gives considerable attention to the Age of the Reformation. She describes the rise of Protestantism as a “blitzkrieg” of events that either scared or persuaded the “unchurched” into belief and conformity. Religious at this time faced persecution or banishment if they tried to remain faithful to their calling. Demands for loyalty to the crown were common in many countries, most notably in England where refusal to swear fealty meant certain torture and often death.

The centuries following this period, however, witnessed the rise of many new congregations founded to provide social services while blending prayer and contemplation with active ministry beyond the walls. Ironically many communities founded by someone with a specific purpose and design in mind, e.g., strict enclosure, service to foreign missions or simplicity of life, frequently underwent changes and even reversals after the founder’s death, sometimes before. While many of these communities flourished and continue to this day, many others prospered for a time and then died. Men and women religious, well-intentioned but subject to human failings like jealousy, ambition and pride, sometimes undermined the very ideals that attracted them to their chosen life. Patterns of hierarchical behavior and management from on high grew more familiar. Religious institutes have had a tendency to be co-opted by popular trends and prejudices; there has been a pervasive culture of secrecy; and virtually every religious community has been vulnerable to the preferences and fears of the reigning pontiff. Almost as ancient as the church itself, religious life in some form has nonetheless prevailed, changing with the needs of the times, threatened repeatedly by shifting political winds but, like an old and battered ship, righting itself again and again.

This review barely skims the surface of the history packed into this 340-page book. While it does not include a conventional bibliography, a list of suggested reading follows a summary of each chapter. There are no footnotes; however a glossary and index are most helpful. This book illustrates the irony in the contrast between the intention of religious to follow the Lord in his humility and poverty and the fact that, through highly developed skills and intellectual achievement, imagination, sheer determination and profound courage, these same groups shaped the worlds of education, theology, science, healthcare and social services while shepherding the faith and guiding the faithful.

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